upside down

so there i was all peached out and smug that my job worked out so great. turns out i was the only one that thought so.

i got thrashed in my first review yesterday. and it was hard to digest, internalise and accept. i hate accepting im wrong, more so in a situation where the critique doesnt seem justified. plus i was in a spot, this being first job and all..so i left work early, walked all the way home, under the under-pass, through the smog filled traffic junctions thick with 2 wheeler congestion, with tears streaming down my face. bleah it was the worst day in a while.

my gut feeling said fuck what happened, go for it and fix it, do what it takes and dont give up. but my mind said oh maybe its not right, maybe this was a wrong decision, maybe i shouldnt go back. but i listened to gut over mind..and i went back. only to have a really rough day that ended in such an anti-climax that i wish i could do it all over again, just to change the end and have some drama.

anyway, gist of the long story is that im back on track, having got the approval of a higher authority who pretty much dismissed mr. managers views as a load of hog-wash. so iv learned that managers are not the best kind of humans to have around. especially not on day 10 into your first job ever. i hate insecure people who let petty differences and unfamiliar situations to be a threat. bahh..human beings are strange.

so i didnt lose my job, like i thought i almost did. and i didnt quit, like i thought i almost did. i stayed and made myself heard, which was a big surprise to me. so im rather happy the way things turned out. and im back in the swing of things with more gusto than ever. my first assignment, a news bulletin for a local club, went into print today and im mighty pleased. satisfaction of a job well-done is and recieving encouragement is hard to describe.

if it werent for my mum and akshay, id be a goner by now i think. lots of love..