Friday, July 30, 2010

some order in bloggerville

every now and then google does comes up with something useful and truly intuitive. like the search button. like labels to sort your mail. and like google reader. iv recently discovered the joys of google reader. or perhaps i should rephrase, the obsessed-with-organizing-things-monica-gellar side of me has discovered the joys of google reader. and that has made all the difference.

until now, i never really knew what "following" a blog meant. i didnt know what it did. i would sometimes randomly click the follow button, wondering what the implications of what i had just done would be. i never discovered. because everyday, i would haphazardly go through the list of blogs i regularly read. or follow, so to speak. sometimes id remember them all. sometimes id forget and skip a few. sometimes id remember some arbit blog id have forgotten to check in forever and ever. and feel altogether disorganized!

one fine day, out of the blue, i stumbled on google reader and it has since revolutionized my daily journey into bloggerville. neatly tabulating the blogs that i follow and subscribe to, google reader keeps track of the updates as and when they happen, alerting me in much the same way a new unread email does. JOY!

so now, when i open google reader every morning, its as if a world of unread blog posts are waiting just for me to enter the world of bloggerville and explore them. to make things even better iv become a complete foodie and follow about a dozen food blogs. a morning run through some of them is just what i need to start my day off right.

bloggerville. food. neatly organized bloggerville with lots of food.
thats close to perfect.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

on compromise

is compromise an integral part of every serious long term relationship?
if so, how much compromise is too much compromise?
what happens if compromise is the basis of the relationship?
and what happens if one party is quite happy compromising?
can a relationship function without either/both parties having to compromise something or the other?
if so, who should be the one to compromise?
given that compromise is required, is there a way to make the process of compromising painless and regret-free?
is compromise always a bad thing?


in my limited experience, there is good compromise and bad compromise. good compromise is the kind that happens without too much thinking, is painless and never leaves you feeling a sense of regret at having to give up/lose/choose something. bad compromise is the kind that forces you to make a choice.

good compromise is the kind of compromise that sort of makes itself happen unknowingly, while a bad compromise will beat you till you do something your heart doesnt really desire.

good compromise leads to some kind of happiness. peace after making a decision. the calm that you can experience at having answered a question and never having to look back on it. bad compromise never lets you forget that you did something you didnt really want to do.

is it hard to differentiate the two, when making a compromise? hell YEAH. but i honestly think compromise is a part of life. nobody escapes it. its a part of having to live in society, and being a part of a larger circle of beings. the ones who claim theyre free and will never compromise on anything are honestly deluding themselves. theyre the kinds that start should thinking about buying themselves their corner of the moon, where they can exist free of human contact, bondage, relationships and yes, compromise.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

through moist eyes

contentment: an update of sorts

the days have been spinning around, in a way where you dont know when one day ended and the next began. its good, i guess. because it now seems like life is falling into place. the "goan honeymoon" so to speak is over, and LIFE has begun. not to say things arent as much fun any more, but i think what i needed was this routine. a balance between work and home and other things that need to get done. and the fact that i need to find a balance obviously means i have enough on my hands. so yes, thats whats kept me busy and away from the blog.

in the weeks that have passed, iv wanted to blog so often. thoughts occurred. feelings overwhelmed me. funny incidents begged to be recorded. random conclusions that ought to have been penned down, didnt. its only because iv been juggling around a fair bit of work, without compromising on my chores and the few things i like to do well around the house. which is basically: cooking, tidying up and making sure things are dust-free, in their place and easy to access. and since i can get quite obsessive and freaky about that, it does in fact take up a lot of my time and energy.

so, whats been up?
1) im currently sharing my time between 2 equally interesting and time consuming assignments. i feel lucky that i now have my hands full and im short of time, because 2 months ago when i had close to no work, i really did almost get to the point where i thought maybe the work thing is over for now, and i must commit to just being a full time housewife. but no, life has proven me wrong again! it seems im worth more!

2) this business of being a stay at home wife, and continuing to pursue a satisfying and challenging "career" is kind of difficult. and my respect for those who do it effortlessly has grown. those who do it with kids to manage, HATS OFF! i find that on most days even though im at home and have to just move between the table where i work and the kitchen where i cook, im RUNNING. i dont walk, because i feel il waste time. i RUN! its get a bit crazy sometimes :)

3) i travelled twice this month. to bangalore in the beginning of the month, and to bombay this weekend that just passed. bangalore was about meeting both sets of parents and the family, and bombay was about celebrating my grand mothers 75th, and celebrating the life of my grand father on the 6 month mark since he left us. the last weekend was an emotional roller-coaster ride. oscillating between feeling extreme joy at how strong and inspiring my grand mother is, and feeling the emotional punch of being in that very home without my grandfather around was tough. i might not have shown it much, but deep down something was constantly tugging at my heart. a vacuum, so to speak. a reminder that something is missing and that things are not the same. but it was a good break: lots of family time (and i mean uncles, aunts, cousins, the works!), i got to wear a sari after like 6 months, i got to meet my folks and priya, i even scoped out some prospective work for myself!

4) iv been cooking and experimenting a fair bit. and pretty much all my experiments have been successful. which has resulted in significant growth of my repertoire, and and a boost in my confidence. i am now contemplating inviting people over and cooking for them -- something i was too afraid to do so far. whats new on my list? paranthas, kheema, malabar chicken curry, pakodas, caramel custard..yes, i know a few simple things, but this is a big step up for me.

5) in other news, i have begun to seriously dislike the smell of smoke. the husband is a smoker, and while i have given up on him ever giving up, im tormented by thoughts of how im going to manage to continue to exist as a passive smoker, given that my tolerance for smoke is diminishing at an alarming space. its reached a point where i need to get up, leave the room and get some fresh air as soon as someone lights up. the smell of smoke is now stifling and chokes me in no time. this is something that never happened before. so help me god.

6) it rained like NOBODYS BUSINESS in july. the longest and hardest spell i have ever witnessed in my life was 10 days at a stretch. i guess THIS is what monsoon in a coastal place is like. iv thoroughly enjoyed it, everything is so lush and green and cleansed out. iv seen the clouds, the sky and the rain do things i didnt know they could! but frankly, i think i need to see the sun. please mr. sunshine, i need to see your face again. just long enough for my laundry to dry as quickly as it used to. just long enough so my pillows dont get mouldy again. just long enough that my house doesnt smell musty from keeping all the windows closed. (i know that once the monsoon is well and truly over, and the POST-monsoon heat begins, im going to regret having asked mr. sunshine to kindly make an appearance)

7) the husband and i got to be "models" in a short stop-motion ad film! more about that once i find out where and when it will be up.

8) my folks have been pretending to come visit me for so long now. it seems, FINALLY, theyre going to be here sometime next month. and though im still a few weeks away from it and ANYTHING could happen in the interim, im bursting with excitement already.

9) OH OH OH, i got a haircut! and i mean a real haircut, for a change. not a trim, not something more than a trim. i mean an all new look. and after a gap of about 10-12 (or maybe more) years, i decided to go short again. no ponytails, no clips, no maintenance. wash, comb, wear. and i love it. personally, i think it just makes me look my age :)

10) we've discovered a fair bit of new eat outs in goa, so that list has grown too. we now have variety -- from street stall food (beef croquettes and pav, shawarma rolls, etc) to the best continental food iv ever had in goa! yayy to more variety and more choice, that came at just the right time in my life.

so, thats that i think. excuse me while i go back to work. yes, in my bean bag which has been strategically placed to look outside the balcony. ah, this life. at this point, i really couldnt ask for more. i think if contentment is a feeling, this would be it.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

working from home

the joys of working out of the comfort of my home are many. such as, working while lying back in my bean bag, laptop where it should be (in my lap), with a view of the lush green world outside my window.

why would i give this up for a "full-time" job?

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

random thought #7586

just HOW MUCH rain is in those clouds?!
its been raining non stop. heavily.
we've had this torrential din for 5 days straight. and today is the 6th day. and we're still counting.

Friday, July 16, 2010

expanding my culinary horizons

today i outdid myself. what began as an experiment, ended in a very successful and tasty meal.

i made aloo paranthas. and for a parantha-virgin, i think i did more than just okay!
the result: 6 perfectly round and golden aloo paranthas. they could have done with some more crisping on either side, but this was a really good beginning. and an all new high for me.

of course, this now means new experiments wait to be tried, and new dinner menus are in order.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

bliss :P

right now is one of those times when im happy. over small things.
just the right amount of work to keep me satisfied.
fresh vegetables in my refrigerator.
respite from the heat of the past few days.
the almost complete download of the new sex and the city movie.
the aroma of what smells like the most perfect sambar i have ever made.
a drive out to calangute this afternoon.

such bliss.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

goa lets me let my hair down

on saturday night, i did something i havent done in ages.

i went out dancing.
i enjoyed some live music.
i lost all inhibition and let my hair down and felt like i could unwind.
i danced like there was no tomorrow.
i realized that consuming one-two-many a g&t lets you enjoy the night even more than you anticipated.

in short, i discovered more reason to love goa :)

Saturday, July 10, 2010


"for whatever we lose (like a you or a me) it's always ourselves we find in the sea"

yesterday, i needed some time out. so i went to the sea. something about the coming and going of the weaves, whether theyre rough or calm, is so soothing. sitting by the sea, dangling my feet off a wall, watching the frothy waves crash beneath me, i am always transported to a blissed out and peaced out kind of state of mind. and thats just what i needed yesterday.

yesterday, i heard a crash of clouds behind me. i turned to look and watched a curtain of rain approach me. it was the most breathtaking thing i have experienced in recent time. to actually have a rain cloud catching up with you, creeping up behind you, giving you precisely a few seconds to either run for cover or be soaked to the bone. nature at its best.

yesterday, as i ran underneath a shed nearby, i got to see something i have NEVER seen before. the sea in a storm. the waves became enormous and grey and looked menacing, yet majestic and powerful. the rain dropped heavily on to the surface of the sea, creating a bed of dots. the sky, dark and overcast clung on to the air, as sundown closed in on me.

yesterday, a single question kept spinning round in my head: will i ever be able to live anywhere else?

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

its official

i have officially lost the husband to his workplace. this day was inevitable. and it is now here. well and truly HERE.

theres no looking back now. and this is YET ANOTHER reason why i hate advertising. it tends to eat into your life. and kill it slowly. one day at a time.

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

no trip to bangalore is complete without:

- overdosing on food. sometimes to the point where your stomach revolts and refuses to do what it should do
- free hugs from me momma
- a drink or two with the dadda
- extra special home cooked food
- a meal at a restaurant with the in-laws. its usually a buffet
- feeling torn between both homes and not knowing which way to give in
- a faff session at koshys with the one and only faffer: james
- conversations over iced teas, chicken sandwiches, bombay toasts and lots of laughter to go with it
- trying desperately to hail an auto to destination A, and failing miserably
- enduring the miserable traffic, unruly people on the roads and feeling utterly depressed at how things have spiralled out of control
- cursing the city, its appalling public transport and the monopoly the auto drivers enjoy
- feeling sort of overwhelmed at just how much this city i call home has changed
- an odd meal at my mums where an assortment of random favorites are made, upon my request. all replete with a special ingredient called "shanta auntys love"
- a visit to ctr to have a ghee drenched dosa. or maybe 2. and filter coffee of course
- bumping into at least half a dozen people i know from some point in my life, and often feeling like i know way too many people in bangalore
- a night spent in my former room at the parents' home
- feeling like i ought to stay a day or two longer
- returning with a happy heart, a satiated palate, a few extra pounds
- going back with bags that are bigger and heavier than the ones we came with

Monday, July 05, 2010

home again

the husband and i have just come back after 3 days spent back home in bangalore. a jam packed 3 days for me, between sharing time across both homes and both sets of parents, meeting the one friend i cant NOT meet, eating all the different things i could squeeze into the three days and enjoying feeling at home. it was fun.

i usually hate the feeling i get when holidays end. and usually, i hate coming back to an empty home and doing things like unpacking, laundry, stocking up the house with essentials, blahblahblah..

but we've returned today -- the ominous bharat bandh looms large. the store across the road refused to give me milk, bread..nothing. to make things worse, my maid ditched me. no public transport to get her here i suppose. oh, and its also pouring cats and dogs.

no food at home. no take out. no delivery. no groceries. no maid. no sunshine. strangely though, i feel good! its a perfect day for chai and biscuits, lots of catching up on tv shows and some peace and quiet to catch up on work. yes, in that very order of priority.

today, i realized that only few things come close to the feeling of coming back to ones own home :)