Sunday, May 30, 2010

weekend bliss

for the first time in so many weeks (and weekends), we're home on a weekend. this has been the first weekend that the husband and i have spent alone in goa. no guests, no plans, no beach, no outings.

just us and a lazy slumber-filled weekend. oh and a serious addiction to a particular tv show.

im loving it. excuse me while i go subject my eyeballs to some more house md.

Friday, May 28, 2010


for those of you who know what my current obsession is, no, this post isnt related to it. for those of you who dont, wait for a post on it. coming up REAL soon.

yesterday when i was on skype with niyu, she said something that really struck a chord with me. it articulated perfectly what i feel. something that has often just left me wondering, in amazement, unable to put down in words what im feeling.

she said having a home of your own is like playing house -- except its for real. when we were kids, we'd play house. and niyu and i took it to great lengths to make it realistic. dolls, kitchen sets and dolls houses were passe. we wanted the real deal. so we'd take utensils from my mums kitchen, hijack the utility and convert it into a mini house, drape on mums old saris, concoct dangerous mixtures with sand, water and leaves, pretending to be cooking.

one summer we took it one notch higher and occupied my neighbours house. they were in the states on a 2 month long vacation, and handed over their keys to my folks. nobody knew, but everyday niyu and i would go there, and spend hours playing house -- IN THEIR HOUSE. using their kitchen as our play kitchen, their dining table to eat out play meals, their beds to sleep at play bedtime. i dont recall ever being caught.

playing house was serious business as far as i can remember.

15 years later, i suddenly realise that my reality is a bit like a repeat of playing house. except its REAL. its the reality version of the exact same things we did when we played house. planned meals, went shopping, cooked, cleaned, napped, watched tv, gossiped, waited for husbands. and it was such fun. much like it is in real life.

and we're live.

after months of pushing, pushing and more pushing, its finally up.

the husband now has his own website. live.

may the photographer in him kick some serious phtographic butt.

its about time, id say!

Wednesday, May 26, 2010


looks like i just won an award!

turning over a new leaf

it seems to be,
that my love for a nice cup of tea,
is coming back to me :)

i enjoy a cup in the morning when the husband has his, just before he leaves for work. and iv found myself leaning towards wanting another cup with breakfast. and these days i have the 4 o clock itch to have yet another cup.

by default, i switched to the milky boiled kind of tea when i got married -- as opposed to the english kind of tea i have grown up having -- merely because thats what everybody had at viveks house. but these days i find myself going back to good ol home tea.

this is just one of the many habits in life that i find are coming back to me, after a hiatus of over a year. and it makes me realize just how much i consciously/sub consciously changed and adjusted to when i got married in 2008.

i had forgotten what beans tasted like. i had forgotten what a full healthy meal was like. i had forgotten what ironing my own clothes was like. i had forgotten what salad with my dinner was like. i had forgotten what sleeping in shorts, and not having to change when i wake up was like. i had forgotten what wearing a skirt that ends above my knees was like. i had forgotten what a non-greasy dosa was like. i had forgotten what solitude was like. i had forgotten what peaceful nights without tv was like. and i had forgotten what having to worry and fend for myself was like. pretty much the same way i had forgotten what good ol home tea was like.

living on our own has been a liberating experience, that funnily enough has also reigned me in, in many ways, teaching me a few things about responsibility, management and control, along the way. i guess what i feel now is liberation, in exactly THAT sense. being responsible, managing ourselves, teaching ourselves control, and making it happen without falling apart.

the new me is pretty much the good ol me coming back to life.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

contest in queendom

the queen summoned a contest. and as a member of queendom, i must do as i am told :D

here's what she asked for.

and here's what i think best describes her.

why? well mostly because in the few weeks that i have gotten to know her, i dont think i have ever seen her not smile. regardless of what shes going through, or whats going on in her immediate surroundings. and secondly, because no matter what im feeling, she has always managed to make me smile.

'nuff said.
may the best entry win :D

joys of being on a sabbatical #24

uninterruupted viewing of tv shows you have never watched before. to the point where you get addicted.

if i were employed, would i be able to sit back and enjoy the pleasures of watching hours of dr house without a break?

NO. and it makes me grateful to have a husband who earns the bread, while i take this break of sorts (partly by choice and partly by the sheer lack of work in goa), and do the things i havent done before. watching dr house, for one. amongst other things.

Monday, May 24, 2010

like an itch i cant scratch

im having a serious maddening craving for a crispy, oily, golden-on-the-outside, plain dosa. from a darshini. in bangalore.


Sunday, May 23, 2010

slurp drool gngngng..

i want my very own..

..but more about that later.
stay tuned for the whole story!

Saturday, May 22, 2010

niyu in goa

she came to us when i was down and out.
she came to us when i really needed someone.
she came to us when i wanted company to explore the new city.
she came to us when i was scared and anxious.
she came to us just when i needed it the most.

when she came to us, our home brightened up. not just with her works of art, but her laughter, the happiness, memories and togetherness. strange thigns happened too -- our meals became more wholesome. salad became a regular feature at the dinner table. fruit found its place in my kitchen. cooking became fun, less tedious and tiring. cleaning up even more so. every chore became a fun thing, especially the dishes!

plenty of trips were made and lots of tripping happened. to the beach. on music. on food. on yoghurt. on laughter. on alcohol and other things. on some absurd corny memory of the past.

the honest truth is that i had a blast and she brought homely into the home! and for that, for being the truest family i know, she will always be welcome!


im pleased to announce the winner of the first ever HAATHIME BLOG AWARD!

..aaaand the award goes tooooo..
her highness queenmatrai!

apart from the title bestowed upon you, you also get a haathi cookie straught from the haathis heart!


the waves were over 5 feet high. and very very frequent. the beach was deserted. red flags marking danger zones, unfit for swimming, dotted the entire lenth of the beach. lifeguards patrolled the entire perimeter of the shore.

the much talked about, much awaited and also much dreaded goan monsoon is almost here. i can feel it in the heaviness in the air. in the way everything is jus hanging -- still and muggy. in the way the waves are growing -- swelling high and bulging wide. in the way the shacks are all shutting down -- one at a time. in the way the tourists are all going home back to where they came from.

this is my first monsoon in a coastal town. and i cant wait.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

brain jelly

a whole day of mindlessly wasting time on idiotic things.
a whole day in front of the computer.
a whole day just passed me by.

i need to get a hold.

what i need today:

and it came in the form of a musical blast from the past, via the queen.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

in love

..with my home.

even though its in a state of perfect incompleteness.
even though there's so much thats still incomplete about it.
even though there's still so much furniture thats left to be bought.
even though its far from what i imagine my home will eventually be.
even though sometimes it gets so dusty, i want to weep.
even though the switches and switch plates are the worst quality ever.
even though the pressure in the taps seems to be reducing.
even though i dont have as many things up on the walls as yet.
even though i would really like to paint a wall in my living room.
even though there's so much more thats left to be done, its pretty darn perfect for me.

maybe i love my home, because thats where my heart is :)


my right side links have disappeared. i dont know how it happened, or what to do to get it back.


Tuesday, May 18, 2010

make right again

iv had the kind of day that only a WHOLE box of cadburys shots can fix.

realizations of the last few hours

- im a pushover of the highest degree. when people push, i get pushed over. i dont know what it is to push back.
- this fucks up my work in many ways.
- as a result, im questioning if im cut out to be the freelance writer i think i can be.
- im leaning towards thinking, im not. because:
a) i cant say no
b) i let people take me for granted
c) i cant get myself to equate time and effort to money
d) i cant push for information
e) im a bit of a masochist and i somehow alays get myself into situations that cause me great discomfort, but that i can never get out of

is this the end of my "career" as a writer?

Monday, May 17, 2010

paranormal activities at the nest

yesterday something weird happened at the nest.
a white mug went missing.
it was there when i dishes in the morning. it didnt get used at breakfast. and yet when i came home after spending the whole day out, it was missing.
i looked all over. behind the washing machine. in between the cabinets and the fridge. under the sink. in the living room. in the balconies. in the bedroom. and even in the bathroom!
i looked beside the bed, inside the cabinets, in the fridge and under it too.
i looked ALL OVER. and the nest isnt that big or densely furnitured yet. so things cant get easily misplaced. even if they do, theres only so many places they could be in. and i looked in all those places.
still no white mug.
it disturbed me. things dont jus go missing like that. especially when i was so sure it was right there all morning.
my poor ocd mind just couldnt deal with the fact that a perfect set of 4 mugs, might suddenly have to be an odd imbalanced set of 3. gasp!
so i looked some more. in all those places again, telling myself that maybe i didnt look hard enough.
still no white mug.
after about 20 minutes of fretting, loudly declaring to the husband how disturbing this was, and silently also considering possibilities of a friendly ghost, rodents, paranormal activities around the house, in my mind, i gave up.
still no white mug.
how frustrating.
we got on with making dinner, my sister and i.
she opened the microwave door to heat soemthing, and gasped.
THERE it sat.
a lonely white mug. full of water.
who put it there, nobody knows!

what happens when you have an ocd about cleaning

having my own living space has brought out the uber obsessive, cleanliness freak in me. given wings to the previously stifled domestic side of me, in a manner of speaking. iv discovered the joy that is to be had in wiping surface clean, tidying piles of clothes, arranging kitchen things, doing the laundry and hanging it out to dry. yes, i know that sounds impossible, but its true.

dusting has taken on a new meaning these days. sweeping and mopping go beyond just the customary routine chores they actually are. i even went to the extent of getting myself some wire organizers to bundle up messy wires and created makeshift elevations from boxes (to keep the dust out). sometimes i find myself cleaning up after my maid has left, regardless of the fact that she has performed those exact same duties just a while ago.

but the truth is keeping things clean and in order, give me a sense of satisfaction. i dont know if its because im at a time where i have little else to engage my attention-span-of-a-frisky-monkey brain, or if its genuinely a love for having things under my control.

some say its a bit of both. ha ha. i do tend do get a little obsessive about it, however, often leading myself to complete exhaustion, or driving myself to the point where iv cleaned u so much i cant bear to be at home any longer. i have to get out of the hosue just for a breather, or i will find something else to clean even after i have been at it for 4 hours straight.

but everything has a limit i guess. a threshold, beyond which it gets saturating. i think i reached that point of saturation sometime last week. and i turned into something i couldnt recognize. a someone who ignored the house for 3 days straight. and that, in my normal world, is PREPOSTEROUS.

but there i lay. disinterested. not caring for the heaps of laundry waiting to be done. the dust that continued to collect. the maid who had a blast without being supervised. the kitchen ignored. veggies shrivelling up, groceries running out waiting to be replenished, the milk and curd cycle going haywire. whats more, my routine went off sched too. breakfasts were super late, making lunch a chore and then the whole day would be slow, lethargic and very very lazy.

finally after 3 days of THAT, i could take it no more. after 3 days of nothing but lying around, dozing at ridiculously regular intervals, eating not so great food, and just watching the house fall apart -- i decided enough is enough. and got into cleaning frenzy mode all over again.

needless to say, i felt good again :D
and order has been restored in the haathi's nest.

Saturday, May 15, 2010


im out of it. and i dont know why.
its a mixture of boredom, restlessness, despair, frustration and melting in the heat.

im off to the beach. hopefully that will make it all better.
i will be sure to have a bloody spicy bloody mary, as suggested by the queen herself!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

goa times

...and thats how its done in goa.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

aah! this life!

my current life gives me the joy of days that go like this:
- wake up at 6 45, to be a sleepy but dutiful wife who makes chai while her husband showers, has chai with him and sees him off
- wait for the maid to come and do her thing
- keep eyes open while she potters around, wishing she would hurry up
- dive back into bed the moment she leaves, curl up and slip right back into deep slumber
- wake up at 10, have a glass of fresh lime to fight the heat
- feel the heat take over, and make you ever so sleepy, and wondering if you will ever sleep TOO MUCH
- decide to give in again, get back into bed and go right back to sleep
- open eyes at about 12 30, feel uninterested in everything, blame it on the heat, doze off again
- doze in and out of sleep intermittently all the way between 12 30 and 4
- kick yourself out of bed at 4, decide to make motions to clean up the kitchen you have ignored for 2 whole days
- manage to slowly trudgingly clean up, and begin to cook dinner
- cook the yummiest smelling vegetable gravy and wait as the pressure cooker does its thing
- make plans to go swimming so you can wake yourself up
- realize you skipped lunch as a result of your endless slumber
- eat 4 biscutis to keep you going
- go swimming, the pool is therapeutic, relaxing and lovely -- just what you need after a hard day of, erm..sleeping and sleeping and sleeping
- come home, open up a bottle of beer -- your first in the last 10 days
- sip sip sip
- dinner, some laughs and freshly cut mango
- off to bed again!

yeah, that pretty much sums up yesterday.

Monday, May 10, 2010

2 months and counting

its been a rollercoaster ride - these past 2 months. since we moved to goa.

thank you universe. for placing me where i am today. i couldnt have wished for anything more right now.

actually, maybe if you could just perhaps give me some work ops, life would be just perfect.

but thanks anyway.

Sunday, May 09, 2010

then and now..

i miss those days when the laundry would miraculously get done.
i miss those days when tasty meals would appear on time.
i miss those days when cleaning up meant jus tidying up within the four walls of my room.
i miss those days when shantha aunty would help me spring clean, once every 6 months.
i miss those days when groceries would never run out.
i miss those days when i didnt have to watch my bank balance, and never had to worry about it running out.
i miss those days when life was simple.

i love doing my own laundry. sorting it out, watching it roll rumble and tumble. and then hanging out fresh smelling detergent moist laundry.
i love cooking meals and getting things ready on time.
i love cleaning up after my maid, doing all the thigns she doesnt do as well as i want her to.
i love climbing on chairs, pulling out things from the top shelves, cleaning them out and putting them back, just to satisfy my obsessive mind.
i love going to the municipal market, feeling my way through the fresh vegetables and fruits and reveling in the many yummy things i can buy.
i love rationing an budgeting my purchases, and tactfully watching where i spend my money.
i love this slightly complicated thing we call life.

Thursday, May 06, 2010

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

as year 26 came to a close..

i cartwheeled my way into year 27..

and another fun fun fun fun weekend came to an end.