Friday, August 28, 2009

when it rains, it fucking POURS.
just so it can go down on record: today is the worst day iv had all year.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

money matters

its thursday. for the first time EVER, iv come  into work and there are no emails waiting to be seen and replied to, no potential-firefighting situations waiting to leap out of my inbox, no stress of wondering what the day will hold..

its a weird time in our lives. the recession has finally reared its shady head in ways that will impact my life. while i work tirelessly day after day, stories of realignment and shuffling give us all the creeps. of course everybody chooses to brush these thoughts aside to some dark forgettable corner of their minds, and continue to work like what they're doing is really critical, and could change the future of this organization.

around me..the husband is increasingly frustrated with the dire lack of things to do at work. a sign of the economic downturn? i think so. hence, entire days get spent watching friends, 24 and other tv shows, on youtube. when you have time to sit and buffer every episode in 3-4 parts..why not, i say? some days get spent learning new illustrator/photoshop tricks. one day you decide to try your hand at learning dreamweaver. i think its a blessing in disguise. a sign from the universe to take small steps towards the real destination in life :)

also, a friend tells me about how his company is downsizing, teams are being cut down by half, and whats worse -- as a manager he is going to have to tell the chosen few in his team to get packing.

ru's business has taken a downturn. suddenly nobody wants to build homes anymore it seems. signs of the economic downturn? i think so.
i know half a dozen people who are unhappy in their stupid mundane jobs, and wish they could call it quits and move on to better things. but they cant. they just dont ever get down to it. for the fear of not having a steady income. a paycheck at the end of every month seems to have so much attached to it. a sense of satisfaction, security and safety.
all around me i see it. and i can feel it everytime im at the atm.
it's just money, they say. then why does it have such a hold on the world?

Monday, August 24, 2009


why do mondays suck so bad?
why is it so hard to get started on a monday?
why does monday feel like it carries the weight of a million long nights on it?

Saturday, August 22, 2009

despite everything else, sindhi boys can MOOOVE. and they really know how to get down and have fun. i have to hand it to them.

Sent from my Nokia phone

Thursday, August 20, 2009

the space between..

theres been a tremendous amount of tears off late. unexplained, frustrating, out of control tears. its amusing in retrospect, but i cant say it was fun in the moment..

somehow dmb came along he seems to think the space between the tears we cry, is the laughter keeps us coming back for more and the space between the wicked lies we tell and hope to keep safe from the pain..

Monday, August 17, 2009

to coonoor and back..

after a wonderful 2 days in the clouds, iv crashed back to reality.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

is the end near?

after this, this and this..i cant help but wonder whats in store next..

theres a sinking kind of feeling going around the place. and i cant shake off this feeling of gloom, because things like this make me sit up and realize how really insignificant our stupid mundane lives are. the things we chase after, our everyday highs and lows, all the things we hang on to so dearly..everything becomes so fragile and utterly inconsequential in the face of realities like the ones we are facing as a planet. personally, i think the planet is rebelling. its had enough.

Monday, August 10, 2009

still to read..

welcome to advertising..
p.s. i love you
the kite runner
a thousand splendid suns

Sent from my Nokia phone

some good publicity

the half baked "home-maker" and the "slightly naive" domestic side of me shows up every now and then. recently, iv had more reason to experiment and iv been on a roll (well, sort of!)

check out for more!

on why the traffic in bangalore is the pits

its all over. my city is falling apart. the traffic is out of control. because:
1) people in small cars think its their birthright to change lanes as much as possible. in fact, i think nobody on the streets of bangalore knows what "lanes" really are, and why theyre important. the concept of lanes is non existent as far as bangalore is concerned. small cars are the new autos, in this respect..which brings me to point #2
2) there are far too many autos crawling around the place. swarming like bees in a hive. with no semblence of order, just going where they please, often knocking everything that comes in their way, DOWN. autos think they're above the law. nothing applies to autos, like theyre the demi-gods of bangalore streets
3) the cops are incapable, inefficient and too FAT to chase after defaulters. seeing as how not all of them have vehicles to get afer people who break the rules..which brings me to point #4
4) the cops with bikes, use them more as conveyance to get from point a to point b, even if it means entering a no-entry zone, going the wrong way down a one way street, crossing on to the WRONG side of the road (in broad daylight, might i add), avoiding a pile up at a signal by going over the double yellow line and encroaching on to oncoming traffic..he's a cop after all..the world should come to a halt and make space for his vehicular movement
5) because pedestrians think theres absolutely NOTHING wrong with walking on a very busy road, right beside the pavement, rather than ON the pavement
6) it seems that after going around ripping off every roundabout/cicrle in the city's major traffic junctions, we are not reinstalling them. except, someone forgot to take into account the 400% increase in volume of traffic, which will now have to be funnelled through these makeshift "channels" thanks to newly created "circles" as
we call them here. its happening all over, the biggest junctions are all massive bottle necks with unending trails of vehicles trying to wriggle their way through a space that is much narrower than it should be
7) we have this wonderous breakthrough in infrastructure development, we call the "magic box". which is actually a tunnel that is miraculously..yes, magically..erected in an unimaginably short period of time (by local authorities' standards of course!). built to actually eliminate signals, and create seamless flow of traffic, what they actually do is create the biggest pile ups bangalore has ever seen. have you visited windsor manor bridge on a weekday between 6:45 and 7:30? its a nightmare. the magic box does absolutely nothing magical to ease the rush hour traffic. instead, they seem to be based on a logic thats beyond my comprehension. the underpass is narrower than the width of the road it replaced. the over bridge is narrower than the width of the road it was built on. yet, its supposed to EASE the traffic that passes through it, which would have only increased by every single day that was spent constructing it. HOW is that even possible?
8) have you seen this big signal in the windsor manor/grand ashok area? i like to call it the YIELD signal. just for kicks. its a mess. it was yet another brilliant creation that was installed to eliminate traffic lights in the area. what happens now is, we have these extremely pot-bellied cops who have replaced the signals. they manually man the YIELD junction, to ensure that everyone yield the other space to move before getting a move on themselves. sorry state of affairs the YIELD signal is
9) everybody is always rushing around. i often wonder where is everyone going? all at once? all in a big hurry? being on the roads is all about getting ahead of the person in front of you. and when thats done, you get ahead of the next person in front of you. funnily, you're never ahead of them all
10) in the bargain of all the rushing around, people turn into rats. where everything else ceases to matter, and all you want to do is get to that piece of cheese, even if it means knocking things around you, scratching your sides, scraping passersby, jumping traffic lights..basically being as uncivilized, uncouth, stupidly idiotic and uneducated as you can possibly be

and so i rest my case. bangalore is a city thats headed to a point of no return. and the other night i had a nightmare. in it, one sunny morning, as i was on my way to work, all of a sudden theres a complete grid lock. the traffic is in a permanent jam. a jigsaw puzzle of cars, bikes, autos, trucks, tempos, buses..a jam that nobody can ever get out of. and i woke up thinking, hmm thats SO possible.

point to ponder - #2

i have almost everything i have wanted, yet something is amiss. and that little something causes sleepless nights, knots in my back, a frown when i wake up, and an inexplicable irritation that just refuses to go away.

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

point to ponder

why do my healthy eating habits bother everybody around me?

Sent from my mobile device

Monday, August 03, 2009

i am

precariously see-sawing between extreme contentment and extreme irritation.

random thoughts on a random uninteresting grey monday morning

- i work for satisfaction, and a sense of accomplishment, and happiness, and self actualization.. but heck underneath it all, i work for the moolah. for the $$.
- HR is a fuckall function. its all about fooling people, making them for fall into well concealed traps that drag you into the world where all you do is slog, and get very little in return.
- the recession is becoming a far too over-used excuse for..well, everything.
- its monday morning and im extremely satisfied with the weekend that has passed. if only all of life was a series of weekends.
- in one month it will be ONE WHOLE BLOODY YEAR. and im just using "bad words" for the heck of it.
- im demotivated.
- im edgy.
- im listening to damien rice. never thought id like the sound of it (?).
- i need to travel. its been far too long.
- what is family?
- it's overrated.
- i hope the next 5 days pass by at the speed of light. and the same goes for the next 4 weeks.
- hallelujah.