Monday, August 10, 2009

on why the traffic in bangalore is the pits

its all over. my city is falling apart. the traffic is out of control. because:
1) people in small cars think its their birthright to change lanes as much as possible. in fact, i think nobody on the streets of bangalore knows what "lanes" really are, and why theyre important. the concept of lanes is non existent as far as bangalore is concerned. small cars are the new autos, in this respect..which brings me to point #2
2) there are far too many autos crawling around the place. swarming like bees in a hive. with no semblence of order, just going where they please, often knocking everything that comes in their way, DOWN. autos think they're above the law. nothing applies to autos, like theyre the demi-gods of bangalore streets
3) the cops are incapable, inefficient and too FAT to chase after defaulters. seeing as how not all of them have vehicles to get afer people who break the rules..which brings me to point #4
4) the cops with bikes, use them more as conveyance to get from point a to point b, even if it means entering a no-entry zone, going the wrong way down a one way street, crossing on to the WRONG side of the road (in broad daylight, might i add), avoiding a pile up at a signal by going over the double yellow line and encroaching on to oncoming traffic..he's a cop after all..the world should come to a halt and make space for his vehicular movement
5) because pedestrians think theres absolutely NOTHING wrong with walking on a very busy road, right beside the pavement, rather than ON the pavement
6) it seems that after going around ripping off every roundabout/cicrle in the city's major traffic junctions, we are not reinstalling them. except, someone forgot to take into account the 400% increase in volume of traffic, which will now have to be funnelled through these makeshift "channels" thanks to newly created "circles" as
we call them here. its happening all over, the biggest junctions are all massive bottle necks with unending trails of vehicles trying to wriggle their way through a space that is much narrower than it should be
7) we have this wonderous breakthrough in infrastructure development, we call the "magic box". which is actually a tunnel that is miraculously..yes, magically..erected in an unimaginably short period of time (by local authorities' standards of course!). built to actually eliminate signals, and create seamless flow of traffic, what they actually do is create the biggest pile ups bangalore has ever seen. have you visited windsor manor bridge on a weekday between 6:45 and 7:30? its a nightmare. the magic box does absolutely nothing magical to ease the rush hour traffic. instead, they seem to be based on a logic thats beyond my comprehension. the underpass is narrower than the width of the road it replaced. the over bridge is narrower than the width of the road it was built on. yet, its supposed to EASE the traffic that passes through it, which would have only increased by every single day that was spent constructing it. HOW is that even possible?
8) have you seen this big signal in the windsor manor/grand ashok area? i like to call it the YIELD signal. just for kicks. its a mess. it was yet another brilliant creation that was installed to eliminate traffic lights in the area. what happens now is, we have these extremely pot-bellied cops who have replaced the signals. they manually man the YIELD junction, to ensure that everyone yield the other space to move before getting a move on themselves. sorry state of affairs the YIELD signal is
9) everybody is always rushing around. i often wonder where is everyone going? all at once? all in a big hurry? being on the roads is all about getting ahead of the person in front of you. and when thats done, you get ahead of the next person in front of you. funnily, you're never ahead of them all
10) in the bargain of all the rushing around, people turn into rats. where everything else ceases to matter, and all you want to do is get to that piece of cheese, even if it means knocking things around you, scratching your sides, scraping passersby, jumping traffic lights..basically being as uncivilized, uncouth, stupidly idiotic and uneducated as you can possibly be

and so i rest my case. bangalore is a city thats headed to a point of no return. and the other night i had a nightmare. in it, one sunny morning, as i was on my way to work, all of a sudden theres a complete grid lock. the traffic is in a permanent jam. a jigsaw puzzle of cars, bikes, autos, trucks, tempos, buses..a jam that nobody can ever get out of. and i woke up thinking, hmm thats SO possible.


VC said...

Ya and Bhasham circle near Sankey Tank is the longest signal in Bangalore unless of course you're "yeilding" at Windsor Manor Bridge for 7 minutes..

haathi said...

the 80ft rd-old madras rd t-junction is pretty long. would give the bhashyan circle junction a run for its money for sure..