i live in a very real world. i mean real, as in everything around me, i can sense or touch or feel or taste. its REAL. real things, real people, real feelings, real reality. tangibles, people i know, people i meet, things i do, feelings i feel, things i aquire..its all real.
real situations. real light. real sound. real smells. real touch. that perfect bed. that outstanding cheese cake. that warm home-made lunch. the presence of loving people. that encouraging pat. that make-anything-better hug. coming home. the blue sky. the yellow blossoms. sunlight in my face. wet floaters. the traffic jam. all that money. chinese food. feeling in love. feeling happy. feeling lonely. feeling ecstatic. feeling tired. wanting your bed, like nothing else. its all so real.
and yet, the only thing that keeps me occupied almost all the time, are thoughts about things that arent real. the future. its a faraway non-reality. and its all i think about. the unraveling future. unending possibilities. unfulfilled dreams. everything out of my reach. so far to go. fantasy. imagination. desire. wishful thinking.
im going back to the future. and i love every moment of it.
4 comments:
i like the future too - beats the hell out of the present -
i love thinkin of how my life would unfold if i had my way -
but then stephens cut offs come out n its way above wht i have - so the dreams come crashing to my feet.
its not the first time - this continues to happen -
n it makes u cynical and tired.
I admire people wit not a drop of cynicism in em - like mr joshi perhaps?? lol - he is the one who keeps tellin me im too young to be cynical...
anyways - im off to create new dreams - one tht doesn involve graduating from st stephens.
oh boo hoo -
desire is way too over-rated....
its no big deal. i went to boring christ college thinking its going to get me nowhere in life, but things work out.
mr joshi?? no cynicism?! well, maybe not as much as some of us, but he can be cynical. iv known him a while. he's changed a lot. lol.
dont kill yourself over the stephens thing. trust me, things work out.
stephens sucks. full of pseudo bongs thinking they're omortyo shen or shashi "i'm so gay for kaapi annan" tharoor types. eurgh.
i like yellama dasappa insti of technology. they have a big yellow bus. me and aravind thought that was their campus as well. they pick up the students, park in cubbon park, and have lessons. then i found they have a real campus and felt off fully betrayed.
that way most places suck. i dont think id have been 'happy' or satisfied and stimulated enough, anywhere.
but 3 years go by really fast. and then its a new life. so thats something to look forward to.
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