hold my hand. run with me.

ever felt like theres so much going on in your head, even you cant begin to fathom where its starts and where it ends and where one thought begins and the loops in to the next? like everything is one endless meandering never-ending confusing stream of thoughts? like you're constantly jittery and on edge. walking on eggshells. not knowing whats around the corner. or like you're trying to run away from something and yet you're in the same place, not moving. like it feels like you've moved miles forward, and suddenly you realise you're just where you started, if not way behind. like you're so bloody preoccupied 24/7, every waking minute of every hour, that you cant do anything straight. like you're trying to understand somehing thats refusing to make itself known. like you're trying so hard for things to work out, to be right, and everything that could go wrong, does. like you're trying to read a book in chinese, when you dont know how.

like you want someone to sit you down and say fuck its a bright and sunshiney day, stop letting your thoughts take over your life! man i needed it. so so so bad. thanks fatty..for the vibes and the "therapy" and "the happy". it just wouldnt be the same without all of that.

i wish things were simple again. really i wish my mind didnt work overtime. i wish we werent so conditioned by things of the past. i wish i knew how to keep my faith where it belongs. i wish i knew how to trust and believe wholeheartedly, especially when it abounds, and i dont really have to look very far to find it. when its staring me in the face and im running around trying to find it. like a jackass.

ah well. something highly uncanny about having actually started running, and feeling so mentally drained from this feeling of my mind running overtime. im exhausted. in everyway. nervewrecked feeling.

cut.
to today. im blissed.
to hootie and the blowfish. "hold my hand".
to a time where i sit, and surf pablo neruda.
to when i feel like im back on track.

with a little love, and some tenderness
we'll walk upon the water, we'll rise above this mess
with a little peace, and some harmony, we'll take the world together
we'll take them by the hand
cause iv got a hand for you, i wanna run with you
yesterday, i saw you standing there
your head was down, your eyes were red
no comb had touched your hair
i said get up, and let me see you smile, we'll take a walk together, walk the road awhile,
cause iv got a hand for you, i wanna run with you
hold my hand, il take you to a place where you can be, anything you wanna be
because i wanna love you the best that i can.

its 12:27 a.m. happy anniversary! run with me.