i miss

back in the day, i had a bush television set that had 5 buttons on it; one power, two for channels and two for volume. and we used to move it around to watch tv in the bedroom or while eating..it was that small.

i miss eating oranges in bed after dinner. i miss trying to watch wonder years at 9:40 pm on wednesday night, from under my covers.

i miss diwali. i miss lighting the lamps every evening, enthusiastic as hell. i miss making a special rangoli all by myself, and filling it in with coloured dals and pulses and rajma and rice.

i miss playing lagoree and cricket and being limboo-timboo and kings and 'box-cricket' and dodge-ball, trying so hard to be a part of the 20+ gang of building kids who ganged up every evening to play.

i miss gossiping with the grown up girls about boys and hair removal and chums, and feeling all damn im such a baby, i want to grow up.

i miss going to the market on sunday mornings, to buy weekly supplies, tagging along behind my mom. i miss eating a banana while she shopped, and i watched wide-eyed.

i miss birthday parties with cake, sandwiches, chips, sauce and that horrid rasna that i loved back then.

i miss polishing my white canvas shoes on monday night, in time for mass pt on tuesdays. and i remember how angry it used to make my mom, that i always left it to be done at the last minute.

i miss everyday homework. making sentences, hindi antonyms, essays, looking up the dictionary and finding meanings.

i miss being house-captain. and i miss being bus-monitor. i miss those bus rides, longing to be old enough to sit at the end of the bus in the 'last seat'. i miss sitting there and fighting with the boys. they always cheated.

i miss 9th standard math tuition, walking there with friends from school, having a crush on that poor geek boy, eating cadburys [i think it was cadburys] picnic [which you dont get anymore] on my way back home.

i miss running to the bus stop hoping like hell they bus hasnt left yet. i miss crying sometimes when i walked to the bus stop wishing i didnt have to go to school, and wiping my face clean just before i reached the bus stop.

theres so much i think about the past 22 years, and so much i miss and long for, most of all i just miss being a kid.