Monday, September 27, 2010
the heat is on..
..and its brought with it the season of shorts and tank tops, cold showers, cool salads, talcum powder days, fan-on-full-speed-nights and hopefully lots of swimming and beach going :)
Saturday, September 25, 2010
marley and me
i just watched marley and me on tv. again.
and from all the touching lines and scenes and dialogues from the movie, this is what always stays with me:
a dog has no use for fancy cars...
or big homes or designer clothes.
a waterlogged stick will do just fine.
a dog doesn't care
if you're rich or poor...
clever or dull, smart or dumb.
give him your heart
and he'll give you his.
how many people can you say that about?
how many people can make you
feel rare and pure and special?
how many people can
make you feel... extraordinary?
and from all the touching lines and scenes and dialogues from the movie, this is what always stays with me:
a dog has no use for fancy cars...or big homes or designer clothes.
a waterlogged stick will do just fine.
a dog doesn't care
if you're rich or poor...
clever or dull, smart or dumb.
give him your heart
and he'll give you his.
how many people can you say that about?
how many people can make you
feel rare and pure and special?
how many people can
make you feel... extraordinary?
this is how we roll, these days
When its past 6 30 and I wonder when the husband will get home, Im left waiting a good 2-3 hours longer. Why? Because he’s having a late night at work.
When I plan that we will catch a movie over the weekend, my plans get botched. Why? Because he’s working over the weekend.
When I plan to try out the new pepper steak sauce recipe to go with the fried chicken, I suddenly change my mind about making it. Why? Because he has too much work and he’s not coming for lunch.
When I ask him to take a day off to rest, following a night of terrible coughing, sneezing and a fever, it seems like Im suggesting something catastrophic. Why? Because he has deadline that if not met, will affect the worlds economic condition.
When I remind him that we came to Goa for a relaxed, better life together, it suddenly dawns on him how far we’ve come from that. Why? Because hes always at work.
Theres a funny organization (read: bullshit, conjob organization) here in Goa. Based in Goa and fishing for new recruits by pegging everything they have to offer on the ‘Goan life”. Unfortunately, what they forget to iterate, even if subtly so, is the fact that the nature of the industry they work in, is such that it doesn’t matter if you’re in Goa, Bombay or even Timbucktoo, your life as you know it will cease to exist. That’s the basis of being in the advertising industry. Sell your soul, your life and your brains to the industry and forever hold your peace.
However, I must confess that its nice to see the husband feeling so committed and excited by his work. Even if his days stretch to 13-14 hours, and his weekends are spent in the office. Its nice to hear that his hard work did pay off, for the business. Whats even better is when those who matter take notice and acknowledge his commitment and efforts. But sometimes, I ask him (and sometimes myself too) is it worth giving up everything else we have in this wonderful new life, to sit around in an office all the time?
When I plan that we will catch a movie over the weekend, my plans get botched. Why? Because he’s working over the weekend.
When I plan to try out the new pepper steak sauce recipe to go with the fried chicken, I suddenly change my mind about making it. Why? Because he has too much work and he’s not coming for lunch.
When I ask him to take a day off to rest, following a night of terrible coughing, sneezing and a fever, it seems like Im suggesting something catastrophic. Why? Because he has deadline that if not met, will affect the worlds economic condition.
When I remind him that we came to Goa for a relaxed, better life together, it suddenly dawns on him how far we’ve come from that. Why? Because hes always at work.
Theres a funny organization (read: bullshit, conjob organization) here in Goa. Based in Goa and fishing for new recruits by pegging everything they have to offer on the ‘Goan life”. Unfortunately, what they forget to iterate, even if subtly so, is the fact that the nature of the industry they work in, is such that it doesn’t matter if you’re in Goa, Bombay or even Timbucktoo, your life as you know it will cease to exist. That’s the basis of being in the advertising industry. Sell your soul, your life and your brains to the industry and forever hold your peace.
However, I must confess that its nice to see the husband feeling so committed and excited by his work. Even if his days stretch to 13-14 hours, and his weekends are spent in the office. Its nice to hear that his hard work did pay off, for the business. Whats even better is when those who matter take notice and acknowledge his commitment and efforts. But sometimes, I ask him (and sometimes myself too) is it worth giving up everything else we have in this wonderful new life, to sit around in an office all the time?
perhaps there is a good side to Murphy
Iv had the worst week, internet-wise. Inconsistent speeds. Network outage without warning. Bad wireless connectivity. Even worse, dealing with the so called “BSNL Broadband Help Desk.” I don’t even know why theyre called that. First of all, they don’t operate 24/7. When they are supposedly open for service, nobody answers the telephone. When you lodge a complaint through the IVR, nobody comes to fix things for you. Secondly, when you get through to them after trying 783467625342 times, they misdiagnose your problem, and tell you theres something wrong with your laptop and that their network is up and running. Perfect as a peach. But of course theyre wrong! Because even technologically-challenged ME, finally self-diagnosed the problem and fixed it. Without running a ping, without changing settings, without messing around with my network adaptor, and simply by using a cotton bud and some spirit.
Someone told me today that BSNL is protected from the consumer court too. It is impossible to take them to court for bad service. I'm convinced this is the primary reason for their complacency. In Goa, problems like this are compounded by peoples’ general nature and attitude to life. Which is why, I don’t know if its worth opting for another service provider and going through the headaches I did when setting up my BSNL connection, or just stick with this and just make a habit of barging into the exchange every time something is wrong, and demanding that someone fix it.
However, Murphy has been weirdly kind to me. And I say this because by some weird stroke of luck, through all the irregularities in my connection and network speeds, the internet has been kind enough to stick around exactly at those moment when I have needed to send out work-related files, download documents or do research.
Thank you Mr. Murphy. I hope I haven’t gone and jinxed my “good” luck.
Someone told me today that BSNL is protected from the consumer court too. It is impossible to take them to court for bad service. I'm convinced this is the primary reason for their complacency. In Goa, problems like this are compounded by peoples’ general nature and attitude to life. Which is why, I don’t know if its worth opting for another service provider and going through the headaches I did when setting up my BSNL connection, or just stick with this and just make a habit of barging into the exchange every time something is wrong, and demanding that someone fix it.
However, Murphy has been weirdly kind to me. And I say this because by some weird stroke of luck, through all the irregularities in my connection and network speeds, the internet has been kind enough to stick around exactly at those moment when I have needed to send out work-related files, download documents or do research.
Thank you Mr. Murphy. I hope I haven’t gone and jinxed my “good” luck.
Friday, September 24, 2010
early bird skies
the spotlessly blue october skies, with gorgeous wispy clouds wafting by, seem to have arrived a few days early.
my nokia camera phone doesnt do it any justice. sigh. and i really wish:
- i had an slr to surprise vc with.
- niyu could come down and enjoy this transition in weather, season and just sheer loveliness around, with me.
- i can start swimming again.
- i can make the most of this crisp sunshiney weather.
my nokia camera phone doesnt do it any justice. sigh. and i really wish:
- i had an slr to surprise vc with.
- niyu could come down and enjoy this transition in weather, season and just sheer loveliness around, with me.
- i can start swimming again.
- i can make the most of this crisp sunshiney weather.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
random contemplation
I don’t know what it is. Perhaps become overly sensitive or perhaps people are just getting stupider, more frivolous and flippant around me. Perhaps being numb and insensitive is the new cool thing to do. Or perhaps we really have become just that insensitive to the realities around us. Maybe it’s the media overkill, or maybe it’s just that we have stopped looking around and feeling things because we’re so obsessed with ourselves. Maybe it’s the sudden economic growth some of us have experiences, along with a change of lifestyle and surroundings that has put us in this bubble, where we’re totally removed from everything else.
I see it in my friends, I see it in family, I see it on facebook (yes, I’m back on, but I’m seriously contemplating going off again. And when I do, I have a feeling it will be for good.) There’s just a very obvious lack of respect, awareness and sensitivity in people off late. Whats worse is we’re going all out to make this apathy very apparent. Its become cool to trivialize issues of grave importance, with blanket statements. Its become cool to accept illogical and stupid behaviour by laughing it off. Its become the done thing to appreciate and encourage frivolity by never stopping to think if we really want to be a part of it.
Case in point (theres 2 actually):
A terribly insensitive and uneducated opinion on the Ayodhya verdict, which was made visible to me via a status update. Unfortunately in addition to the display of stupidity, it also made it evident to me that some of us are really very snug in our respective bubbles and that matters that concern the country and its people aren’t of much significance. Or at least not enough to say something informed or opinionated about.
A pathetic lack of maturity and brains in another friend, in dealing with a situation very close to my heart.
Why is this happening to me? I feel there are lesser and lesser people with whom I can relate to. People at my wavelength, who believe in things that I do, who share my attitude to life, my feelings towards things. Sure no two people are the same, but the few I call my friends I know I can share a clean open relationship sans barriers. Then, why is it that with a few others im feeling this growing distance, and a barrier of sorts, caused mostly by a sudden realization that perhaps we don’t really have that much in common?
Has it ever happened to you? You wake up one day and you suddenly dont relate to your friends any more? On more than one level! Im just disappointed in people around me. People I thought I was close to. People I thought I could get long with.
I see it in my friends, I see it in family, I see it on facebook (yes, I’m back on, but I’m seriously contemplating going off again. And when I do, I have a feeling it will be for good.) There’s just a very obvious lack of respect, awareness and sensitivity in people off late. Whats worse is we’re going all out to make this apathy very apparent. Its become cool to trivialize issues of grave importance, with blanket statements. Its become cool to accept illogical and stupid behaviour by laughing it off. Its become the done thing to appreciate and encourage frivolity by never stopping to think if we really want to be a part of it.
Case in point (theres 2 actually):
A terribly insensitive and uneducated opinion on the Ayodhya verdict, which was made visible to me via a status update. Unfortunately in addition to the display of stupidity, it also made it evident to me that some of us are really very snug in our respective bubbles and that matters that concern the country and its people aren’t of much significance. Or at least not enough to say something informed or opinionated about.
A pathetic lack of maturity and brains in another friend, in dealing with a situation very close to my heart.
Why is this happening to me? I feel there are lesser and lesser people with whom I can relate to. People at my wavelength, who believe in things that I do, who share my attitude to life, my feelings towards things. Sure no two people are the same, but the few I call my friends I know I can share a clean open relationship sans barriers. Then, why is it that with a few others im feeling this growing distance, and a barrier of sorts, caused mostly by a sudden realization that perhaps we don’t really have that much in common?
Has it ever happened to you? You wake up one day and you suddenly dont relate to your friends any more? On more than one level! Im just disappointed in people around me. People I thought I was close to. People I thought I could get long with.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
To my baby sister, whos not so baby anymore..
21 years ago, on this very day, you came into my life as a younger sibling. The kind I thought I wanted, and had begged amma and anna for. Soon after though, I changed my mind..haha! Because you were adorably beautiful, with perfectly round cheeks, chubby stumpy limbs, almond eyes and wispy hair that curled out at the sides. Let’s not forget the weirdly pointed ears that had us convinced you were a descendent of Mr. Spock. And you were suddenly the centre of everyones attention! Of course the performer/attention grabber in me had to be miffed about it! I did various silly, yet hilarious in retrospect, things to gain my position back. But I don’t think I could compare. You were the best thing that had happened in a while. 5 and a half years to be precise. The best thing since me, that is. Haha!
It would be crazy to try and go over all the memories we have shared in the 21 years of your life. It would be an understatement to say that you have impacted my life in more ways than you would ever know. Every incident: the happy times the sad times, the highs, the lows, the sibling rivalry, the camaraderie, the special bond, the madness, the serious talks, the lessons learned..everything is an indelible part of my life. I think I can safely you are the single person with whom I share the most number of memories with.
All that banter aside, this is a message to you, that carries with it many many many big hugs and kisses with it.
The 21 years that have passed have seen you and me both grow in separate ways, and I have watched you become a happy, carefree, in-love-with-everything-you-can-sense, artistic, hugely creative, bold, hedonistic champ. I have seen the brave side of you in all the bold decisions you have taken in life – some things that even I couldn’t get myself to do. I have seen a caring human being, who so easily shifts roles from being a friend, a sister, a clown, a daughter, a grown up and grand daughter too. In you I have also seen a caring side that I know even I don’t have. I feel, and sometimes don’t act. But I have seen that impeccable quality in you to act, every time you feel something.In you I have seen a quiet maturity and a grown-beyond-your-year kind of quality that reflects in the way you are and everything you do. I love how you straddle the new with everything precious from the old. Whether its your choice in music, or your attitude to tradition, in the way you dress and in your attention to detail. Im so proud of the adult I have seen you become. Taking life’s lows in your stride and letting the highs push you higher. So as you step into the next phase of your life, I want nothing but the best for you, even better than anything I could ever have experienced myself. The best opportunities, the best friends, the best men, the best experiences, the best food art and movies, the best travels, the best lessons, the best of love joy and hope and the best and most fulfilling life possible.
21 is a big number, but like someone said, this is just the beginning.And I know you’ll go places.
I love you goof! You'll always be my baby sister!
Saturday, September 18, 2010
to pet or not to pet
after weeks...okay, months, of begging me to let us have a pet, iv come around to the idea. its a combination of baby sitting the kittens 2 weekends ago and reading the pioneer womans many charlie-posts, that did it. but yesterdays post (oh lawwwrrddddd, just take a look at that doggie will you?! hes perfectly edible!) on pioneer womans confessions was the last straw. i absolutely want a pet now. and when i have one, its going to be either a basset hound or a beagle. iv decided.
the only problem is, like i keep telling vc, bringing a pet into our home is very much like bringing a baby into our home. there will be feeding and looking after, doctors visits and medicines, teaching it how to behave and loving it dearly, giving it enough attention and affection, the list goes on and on and on..and a decision quite like this, im afraid, requires much thought and deliberation. vc doesnt think so (and thats no surprise).
so while iv made progress on the willingness scale, i have a long way to go before i act on my urge! and poor vc will just have to wait, until im absolutely ready.
the only problem is, like i keep telling vc, bringing a pet into our home is very much like bringing a baby into our home. there will be feeding and looking after, doctors visits and medicines, teaching it how to behave and loving it dearly, giving it enough attention and affection, the list goes on and on and on..and a decision quite like this, im afraid, requires much thought and deliberation. vc doesnt think so (and thats no surprise).
so while iv made progress on the willingness scale, i have a long way to go before i act on my urge! and poor vc will just have to wait, until im absolutely ready.
Friday, September 17, 2010
give me a break
murphy has been working overtime of late. someone go find him. and give him a rest already. iv had about enough!
Thursday, September 16, 2010
p(m)s, i do not love you..
I picked the wrong day to sit back and watch a movie. Or maybe I picked the wrong movie to watch on a day like this. And I have to give warning, whatever you do, do not watch PS, I Love You, when you’re going through a particularly low emotional phase. To say the movie did something to me would be an understatement. What it did infact, was kill me at various different levels.First and foremost do not watch it when you’re PMSing and are feeling altogether weepy and ready to bring on the waterworks for any given reason. Be sure not to watch it at a time when you are anyway missing your significant other. Especially refrain from watching it if the previous fact is worsened by a serious dearth of together time. Oh, and do not watch it if your spouse/significant other is slowly turning slave to his workplace and has no time for you, at a time when you need it the most, and yet you cant bring yourself to just ask for it.
Do no watch it when you’re feeling lonely in general, like you don’t have a single soul to call a friend. Do not watch it if you have arbit skin conditions that refuse to go, causing you much trauma, worry and not to mention low energy, self esteem and spirit. Do not watch it if you have been putting off writing a long heartfelt email to your mom. Most definitely stay away from watching it if you are at a time in life when you’re losing faith in all of humanity, people’s genuine-ness and the friends you thought you had. Do not watch it if you have a problem with accepting death. Oh and, don’t watch it if you wish you had your spouse around, and theres no way to to make that happen for the next 10 hours.
That said, it was a lovely movie. Its has gerard butler, whats not to like! It touched me in many different ways. Even though it seemed like it was a cliché “love story”, it was really about so many different kinds of love. So ignore my emotional outburst and watch if you get a chance to. Just don’t watch it under any of the circumstances mentioned above!
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
stand by me
oasis takes me back to the angst-ridden teenage years of 11th grade. when i wondered why i didnt fit in. why i had such few friends. why everyone around me seemed to be caught up in things that didnt interest me. and id sit in my room listening to wonderwall, dont look back in anger, stand by me, little by little and feel better about the world at large.. those were the days.
simple pleasures. happiness in music. a small little bubble of a world.
today:
- a long list of oasis tracks
- a hot cup of chai
- sitting in my beanbag in my balcony
- a light drizzle with just the right amount of sunshine
- catching up on pending work, with a sudden burst of energy to finish
im in an oasis state of mind.
simple pleasures. happiness in music. a small little bubble of a world.
today:
- a long list of oasis tracks
- a hot cup of chai
- sitting in my beanbag in my balcony
- a light drizzle with just the right amount of sunshine
- catching up on pending work, with a sudden burst of energy to finish
im in an oasis state of mind.
bro
i thinks its funny that my sister and i call each other "bro", with utmost affection, when we talk. or chat. or laugh. or shout.
and just for old times sake, and because i like going back in time every now and then, heres a picture of us punks.
ps: none of us looks anything like we do in this picture, any more.
and just for old times sake, and because i like going back in time every now and then, heres a picture of us punks.
ps: none of us looks anything like we do in this picture, any more.
Monday, September 13, 2010
enough!
the gloom of last week seems to have blown over. today already seems like its off to a better start than most days last week.
i have attributed the unexplained lack of spirit and muted energy levels to the complete lack of endorphins. i know myself and my body. i need endorphins to keep me going. moreover, i need to feel healthy to feel energetic. i need endorphins, high energy levels and i need to feel good about myself in order to be happy.
right now im at the end of over 2 months of no exercise whatsoever. for someone that used to be addicted to it, this is way more than a dry spell. the discovery of the joys of cooking havent helped. its been a monsoon of no exercise and lots of rich food, dessert experiments, alcohol and general lethargy. not. good. for. me.
so this is it. im kicking the laziness out now. today.
today i begin living healthy again.
- a run/circuit training
- swimming when its not raining
- more healthy food
- more salad
- less rice
- no alcohol
there. 'nuff said.
i have attributed the unexplained lack of spirit and muted energy levels to the complete lack of endorphins. i know myself and my body. i need endorphins to keep me going. moreover, i need to feel healthy to feel energetic. i need endorphins, high energy levels and i need to feel good about myself in order to be happy.
right now im at the end of over 2 months of no exercise whatsoever. for someone that used to be addicted to it, this is way more than a dry spell. the discovery of the joys of cooking havent helped. its been a monsoon of no exercise and lots of rich food, dessert experiments, alcohol and general lethargy. not. good. for. me.
so this is it. im kicking the laziness out now. today.
today i begin living healthy again.
- a run/circuit training
- swimming when its not raining
- more healthy food
- more salad
- less rice
- no alcohol
there. 'nuff said.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
when i got off facebook, and discovered dosa-happiness!
iv had a rather strange week and weekend. the kind of week that has nothing exciting happen. the kind of week that had virtually no human contact or interaction. the kind of week that can drive you a bit crazy. and it did. it made me get off facebook. im actually surprised at myself. its been 2 days and i havent felt the need/urge to log back in. it probably wont last long, but i dont know when il want to get back.
probably the only exciting happening was the anniversary that happened mid-week. i still cant put a finger on whats making me so low and out of it, but i hope it will pass.
the weekend was pretty alright until this morning, when i woke up looking like hanuman. the lower half of my face pink, exactly like hanuman make up out of the sidey ramayan series. iv had a month full of unexplained and random skin ailments. iv probably had more skin issues in the last month, than i have in all my life. and im not just talking about everyday acne. im talking funny, out-of-the-blue, bordering on weird skin things. and this morning it seemed like one of those things surfaced again.
it didnt do much for my state of mind/being. because when youre low and out of it, the last thing you need is to realize that the thing youve been medicating yourself for a whole month for, is back with a bang. it made me wish i was in bangalore just for a split second, so i could go to a doctor i trust. it made me wish i knew why this is happening to me.
i spent pretty much the entire day moping around, feeling sorry for myself, and having "why-me?" thoughts. i tried to lift my spirits by making chicken curry to go with the dosas we planned to have for lunch. the chicken curry turned out alright. but when i went ahead to make the dosas (my 3rd attempt at home), things suddenly changed for the better. the world was suddenly a happier place. my sunday was looking up.
i finally managed crisp, golden-on-the-outside-soft-on-the-inside dosas. and thats all it took to make things alright again. i guess its confirmed. im a complete foodie and the simplest things do bring happiness like little else does. im turning in early tonight, with the hope that monday will bring in a refreshing and rejuvenating state of mind my way.
probably the only exciting happening was the anniversary that happened mid-week. i still cant put a finger on whats making me so low and out of it, but i hope it will pass.
the weekend was pretty alright until this morning, when i woke up looking like hanuman. the lower half of my face pink, exactly like hanuman make up out of the sidey ramayan series. iv had a month full of unexplained and random skin ailments. iv probably had more skin issues in the last month, than i have in all my life. and im not just talking about everyday acne. im talking funny, out-of-the-blue, bordering on weird skin things. and this morning it seemed like one of those things surfaced again.
it didnt do much for my state of mind/being. because when youre low and out of it, the last thing you need is to realize that the thing youve been medicating yourself for a whole month for, is back with a bang. it made me wish i was in bangalore just for a split second, so i could go to a doctor i trust. it made me wish i knew why this is happening to me.
i spent pretty much the entire day moping around, feeling sorry for myself, and having "why-me?" thoughts. i tried to lift my spirits by making chicken curry to go with the dosas we planned to have for lunch. the chicken curry turned out alright. but when i went ahead to make the dosas (my 3rd attempt at home), things suddenly changed for the better. the world was suddenly a happier place. my sunday was looking up.
i finally managed crisp, golden-on-the-outside-soft-on-the-inside dosas. and thats all it took to make things alright again. i guess its confirmed. im a complete foodie and the simplest things do bring happiness like little else does. im turning in early tonight, with the hope that monday will bring in a refreshing and rejuvenating state of mind my way.
Friday, September 10, 2010
brb
current mood: contemplative
current state of being: incommunicado
reason: extreme isolation
current music: nusrat fateh ali khan
current thoughts: this too shall pass
reason: a sense of helplessness and not-knowing-why
current need: chinese soup and/or an evening with amma
current state of being: incommunicado
reason: extreme isolation
current music: nusrat fateh ali khan
current thoughts: this too shall pass
reason: a sense of helplessness and not-knowing-why
current need: chinese soup and/or an evening with amma
'ssupdates
- it seems like this monsoon just doesnt want to go. i know iv been talking about it ending for a while now. but no, it hasnt officially ended. while the heat is slowly creeping in, and we often have sunshiney mornings, the rain is never too far behind. the skies change rapidly and the scene outside my balcony goes from bright and crisply sunshiney to dark and overcast to pouring down rain very quickly. they say that since the monsoon came in late this year, it will probably stay a while longer. im waiting and watching.
- it was meant to be eid today. my maid took the day off. i woke up this morning and began doing the dishes, when suddenly the doorbell rang. it was my maid. apparently the moon isnt coming out today, so eid has been pushed to tomorrow. i thanked my stars for giving me a maid who is honest enough to show up on a day she has officially taken off! it also helps that shes extremely warm and sweet and i have to say my interaction with her has become an important part of my everyday routine. the days she doesnt show up, it really does feel like something is missing. im grateful to have found her.
- ever since the anniversary, which marked the beginning of a couple of lazy days ahead, i have been doing a lot of lazing, random internet browsing, and very little working. its like the work switch has been turned off. which is not very good at this point of time because i have a book that isnt going to be editing itself any time soon. at least not in time for when the deadline is going to hit me square in the face.
- yesterday, we had a guest over for dinner. i cooked an entirely south indian meal. carrot/beans huli, brinjal palya, rice, papads, pickle and curd. i realized 1) south indian cooking is possibly the easiest for me. its quick, hassle-free and most importantly makes me feel confident 2) its fun to entertain 3) it was so good to interact with someone new!
- i still havent gotten back on some sort of exercise regimen. after over 2 months of doing nothing but stuffing face, the lethargy has set in and i cant seem to shake myself out of it. but i so desperately need to because iv crossed that point of having just gained a little weight here and there, to actually feeling uncomfortable and a bit like a slob. i copied my pilates dvd when my mum came down, and i also brought out my bathing suit with every intention to start swimming again. my mind is willing, but the flesh, not so much.
- tomorrow is ganesh chaturti. while i dont consider myself "religious", im feeling the pangs of missing all the action at home. my single association with ganesh chaturti is all the goodies and food my mum makes. my granny called yesterday, and asked if i was going to do the symbolic custom that marks the day, and i casually said "its no fun doing it all alone". what i genuinely meant was here i am, all alone, with no motivation to "celebrate" an event like this, because in my mind it is associated with getting together with family, eating all the goodies together, exchanging happy times. it just doesnt feel right to do it alone. the only answer she gave me was "its not done for the fun of it. there is a significance to it all." something to think about i guess.
- weekends are usually distinctly different from weekdays here. during the 5 day week, i spent my time almost always alone, either working, cooking, doing something around the house, running some errands, or meeting one of the few friends iv made here. on weekends, i do nothing but stay in, spend time with vc and try not to work either. this weekend however, vc is going to be working, saturday and sunday. so i plan to spend my time at the parlour, getting some much needed and long overdue pampering, catching up on my shows and reading.
- on our anniversary, i tried my hand at one of pioneer womans recipes. the first i have ever experimented actually making. it was ridiculously simple and was quite a success, if i might say so myself. in a burst of excitement at having successfully cooked it, i wrote to ree drummond, much like a star struck fan would write fan mail to someone shes in awe of. and much like a star struck fan, i am eagerly anticipating a reply. yes, i know it sounds silly because she probably has a gazillion fans out there and a gazillion emails everyday from them. im sure she doesnt sit around writing back to everyone. but somewhere i was hoping she would write back to me. siiigh.
- while falling asleep last night, it suddenly occurred to me that in just over 3 months 2010 will be over. and it gave me a combined feeling: wow-that-was-quick + what..already??!?! and i dozed off thinking about the year gone by and just how much has changed. of course towards the end of every passing year, i am overcome by this very same feeling, but 2010 has got to be by far the most life changing year i have had so far. even more than the year i got married.
- it feels good to be putting my mind and heart into some of the exciting work i have happening. its great to have this sense of independence again. what makes it even better is to be able to choose how i spend my time. work when i feel like it, laze when i feel like it, dont work if i dont feel like it, enjoy my weekends if i must and slog my weekdays off if i need to. it makes me wonder how i will ever re-adjust to a day job again. but thats a thought il save for the event when it might actually happen.
until then, joie de vivre it is.
- it was meant to be eid today. my maid took the day off. i woke up this morning and began doing the dishes, when suddenly the doorbell rang. it was my maid. apparently the moon isnt coming out today, so eid has been pushed to tomorrow. i thanked my stars for giving me a maid who is honest enough to show up on a day she has officially taken off! it also helps that shes extremely warm and sweet and i have to say my interaction with her has become an important part of my everyday routine. the days she doesnt show up, it really does feel like something is missing. im grateful to have found her.
- ever since the anniversary, which marked the beginning of a couple of lazy days ahead, i have been doing a lot of lazing, random internet browsing, and very little working. its like the work switch has been turned off. which is not very good at this point of time because i have a book that isnt going to be editing itself any time soon. at least not in time for when the deadline is going to hit me square in the face.
- yesterday, we had a guest over for dinner. i cooked an entirely south indian meal. carrot/beans huli, brinjal palya, rice, papads, pickle and curd. i realized 1) south indian cooking is possibly the easiest for me. its quick, hassle-free and most importantly makes me feel confident 2) its fun to entertain 3) it was so good to interact with someone new!
- i still havent gotten back on some sort of exercise regimen. after over 2 months of doing nothing but stuffing face, the lethargy has set in and i cant seem to shake myself out of it. but i so desperately need to because iv crossed that point of having just gained a little weight here and there, to actually feeling uncomfortable and a bit like a slob. i copied my pilates dvd when my mum came down, and i also brought out my bathing suit with every intention to start swimming again. my mind is willing, but the flesh, not so much.
- tomorrow is ganesh chaturti. while i dont consider myself "religious", im feeling the pangs of missing all the action at home. my single association with ganesh chaturti is all the goodies and food my mum makes. my granny called yesterday, and asked if i was going to do the symbolic custom that marks the day, and i casually said "its no fun doing it all alone". what i genuinely meant was here i am, all alone, with no motivation to "celebrate" an event like this, because in my mind it is associated with getting together with family, eating all the goodies together, exchanging happy times. it just doesnt feel right to do it alone. the only answer she gave me was "its not done for the fun of it. there is a significance to it all." something to think about i guess.
- weekends are usually distinctly different from weekdays here. during the 5 day week, i spent my time almost always alone, either working, cooking, doing something around the house, running some errands, or meeting one of the few friends iv made here. on weekends, i do nothing but stay in, spend time with vc and try not to work either. this weekend however, vc is going to be working, saturday and sunday. so i plan to spend my time at the parlour, getting some much needed and long overdue pampering, catching up on my shows and reading.
- on our anniversary, i tried my hand at one of pioneer womans recipes. the first i have ever experimented actually making. it was ridiculously simple and was quite a success, if i might say so myself. in a burst of excitement at having successfully cooked it, i wrote to ree drummond, much like a star struck fan would write fan mail to someone shes in awe of. and much like a star struck fan, i am eagerly anticipating a reply. yes, i know it sounds silly because she probably has a gazillion fans out there and a gazillion emails everyday from them. im sure she doesnt sit around writing back to everyone. but somewhere i was hoping she would write back to me. siiigh.
- while falling asleep last night, it suddenly occurred to me that in just over 3 months 2010 will be over. and it gave me a combined feeling: wow-that-was-quick + what..already??!?! and i dozed off thinking about the year gone by and just how much has changed. of course towards the end of every passing year, i am overcome by this very same feeling, but 2010 has got to be by far the most life changing year i have had so far. even more than the year i got married.
- it feels good to be putting my mind and heart into some of the exciting work i have happening. its great to have this sense of independence again. what makes it even better is to be able to choose how i spend my time. work when i feel like it, laze when i feel like it, dont work if i dont feel like it, enjoy my weekends if i must and slog my weekdays off if i need to. it makes me wonder how i will ever re-adjust to a day job again. but thats a thought il save for the event when it might actually happen.
until then, joie de vivre it is.
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
embarassed to be indian, reason #657
salman khans "dabang move": one of the reasons why im embarrassed to be indian.
if you're curious and have the patience to put up with the video, you can catch this most ridiculous move right at 2:00.
as if the "move" by itself is not pissing off enough, that pompous look on salmans face is even more infuriating. and then he goes and does it again at 2:25. what a stud.
two down, and many many more to go..
2 years ago on this very day, i was in a frenzy, the centre of every ones attention, and flitting around my home meeting every one of what felt like a gazillion people that were in my home. the plan for the rest of the day was to have a mid morning brunch with everyone, pack the last of my things and leave for the hotel by about 1. the woman who was to make me wear my sari in under a minute was to arrive at 1 30 and she would them do what was required to make me look my best.
later that day at around 4, i think, vc and i were to get married. which is to say, we were to be taken through a series of odd and intriguing rituals including funny hand-holding, pouring of various things inside and outside a fire, going round in circles a few times and stepping on tiny piles of rice.
it didnt end there. with just little over an hour to spare between our wedding and the reception, i had to change out of the bulky attire i was in, wear something "normal", run down to the parlour, wash my hair, blow dry it, iron it poker straight, rush back up and wear yet another sari, some more jewelry, and make it back on stage in time. and i got hell for being five minutes late.
we then proceeded to smile aimlessly at the thousands (im not kidding) of people who swarmed in through the doors, pose mindlessly for pictures that we would later look at and think "who is that??", and as in my case, feel faint from constantly having the videographers light in your face, actually almost pass out, curse that my wonderful 3-day wedding had to culminate in this, and then finally somewhere past midnight, get off the stage and off my 4 inch heels, eat dinner and finally chill with friends.
that was just the beginning though. of 365 + 365 (so far) days of being married. in the time that ensued, vc and i proceeded to really have a blast. in the first year we travelled like never before, almost seeing a new place every month. plenty of road trips, plenty of discovering new places, plenty of photography and a cartload of photographs and memories to go with it.
before we knew it 365 days had passed. and i found myself fixing vc a grand surprise to celebrate the day.
the next year began with talks of moving to goa. the process of finalizing it took about 4 months, so by the time we moved it was february. the rest as they say, is history, because iv blogged myself silly about what life is like here in goa.
to cut the story reeeeally short, would be to say the 2nd year has been just as adventurous and interesting as the first, though in a very different way. while year 1 was all about discovering things about each other and oneself, year 2 was also kind of like really starting over. living on our own somehow felt like we were remarried and starting from scratch.
vc and i celebrate our 2nd anniversary today. well not really "celebrate", but mark perhaps. mostly because while the excitement remains, the novelty has worn off. and also because vc has chosen to dedicate his life and soul to his workplace. which means the office and his team mates see more of him than i do.
i did however begin the fun last night, with a chocolate truffle cake that i had to sneak in. and he, a gigantic bouquet of red and yellow roses that he had to sneak in. tonight i plan to cook something different. open up a bottle of wine for me, and beer for him. and enjoy the evening at home.
they say time flies faster when youre having a good time. i guess thats the only way to explain how these past two years have just zipped by. personally, i cant believe its been that long. it still feels like we just got married a few months ago.
happy anniversary vc :) i know its not easy being married to me, but i think you do a pretty darn good job of it!
later that day at around 4, i think, vc and i were to get married. which is to say, we were to be taken through a series of odd and intriguing rituals including funny hand-holding, pouring of various things inside and outside a fire, going round in circles a few times and stepping on tiny piles of rice.
it didnt end there. with just little over an hour to spare between our wedding and the reception, i had to change out of the bulky attire i was in, wear something "normal", run down to the parlour, wash my hair, blow dry it, iron it poker straight, rush back up and wear yet another sari, some more jewelry, and make it back on stage in time. and i got hell for being five minutes late.
we then proceeded to smile aimlessly at the thousands (im not kidding) of people who swarmed in through the doors, pose mindlessly for pictures that we would later look at and think "who is that??", and as in my case, feel faint from constantly having the videographers light in your face, actually almost pass out, curse that my wonderful 3-day wedding had to culminate in this, and then finally somewhere past midnight, get off the stage and off my 4 inch heels, eat dinner and finally chill with friends.
that was just the beginning though. of 365 + 365 (so far) days of being married. in the time that ensued, vc and i proceeded to really have a blast. in the first year we travelled like never before, almost seeing a new place every month. plenty of road trips, plenty of discovering new places, plenty of photography and a cartload of photographs and memories to go with it.
before we knew it 365 days had passed. and i found myself fixing vc a grand surprise to celebrate the day.
the next year began with talks of moving to goa. the process of finalizing it took about 4 months, so by the time we moved it was february. the rest as they say, is history, because iv blogged myself silly about what life is like here in goa.
to cut the story reeeeally short, would be to say the 2nd year has been just as adventurous and interesting as the first, though in a very different way. while year 1 was all about discovering things about each other and oneself, year 2 was also kind of like really starting over. living on our own somehow felt like we were remarried and starting from scratch.
vc and i celebrate our 2nd anniversary today. well not really "celebrate", but mark perhaps. mostly because while the excitement remains, the novelty has worn off. and also because vc has chosen to dedicate his life and soul to his workplace. which means the office and his team mates see more of him than i do.
i did however begin the fun last night, with a chocolate truffle cake that i had to sneak in. and he, a gigantic bouquet of red and yellow roses that he had to sneak in. tonight i plan to cook something different. open up a bottle of wine for me, and beer for him. and enjoy the evening at home.
they say time flies faster when youre having a good time. i guess thats the only way to explain how these past two years have just zipped by. personally, i cant believe its been that long. it still feels like we just got married a few months ago.
happy anniversary vc :) i know its not easy being married to me, but i think you do a pretty darn good job of it!
Sunday, September 05, 2010
flop show
i know i promised i wouldnt mention the cats again, but im going through kitty withdrawal since they left a while ago, and you can consider this a way to get the feeling out of my system.
in a short span of time i got attached to the little kitty. tia.
vc's plan worked. the covert motive in agreeing to cat baby sit was to warm me up to the idea of having a pet. it has to be said that i was never averse to the idea, just a little sceptical. because: 1) we live in an apartment on the 3rd floor 2) we like to take off on random trips here and there 3) im alone a lot of the time and would like someone to share the responsibility of looking after it with 4) i wasnt sure if i was up to that kind of full time responsibility.
the weekend with the kitties has made me realize that i could manage it if i wanted to. in other words, if i figure out points 1), 2) and 3), 4) is not really too much of a problem.
so in a moment of severe kitty-withdrawal-syndrome, i proposed to vc that we get a pup or even a kitten. i was so sure he'd jump at the idea. after all, he is the one that has actually just been waiting for me to say the word, and has himself been on the verge of just getting a pet.
but his response was this: "im having second thoughts about that now."
:O
:O
:O
turns out 2 days of feeding the cats, giving them all the attention when they demanded it, having the furball nestled in various parts of his body and also rescuing them three times over when they jumped out of he balcony and onto the ledge below (funnily they managed to go down there but couldnt come up on their own! haha!) has made him realize the effort and responsibility it is to actually have a pet of your own.
so much for his plan! while it worked on me, it seems to have had quite the opposite effect on him. and unexpectedly so.
we're back to square one it seems. its time for me to go plot now, and device a way to reverse his feelings. and this, i promise, is the last you'll hear from me about the kitties.
but not before you take one last look at the cute little thing:
in a short span of time i got attached to the little kitty. tia.
vc's plan worked. the covert motive in agreeing to cat baby sit was to warm me up to the idea of having a pet. it has to be said that i was never averse to the idea, just a little sceptical. because: 1) we live in an apartment on the 3rd floor 2) we like to take off on random trips here and there 3) im alone a lot of the time and would like someone to share the responsibility of looking after it with 4) i wasnt sure if i was up to that kind of full time responsibility.
the weekend with the kitties has made me realize that i could manage it if i wanted to. in other words, if i figure out points 1), 2) and 3), 4) is not really too much of a problem.
so in a moment of severe kitty-withdrawal-syndrome, i proposed to vc that we get a pup or even a kitten. i was so sure he'd jump at the idea. after all, he is the one that has actually just been waiting for me to say the word, and has himself been on the verge of just getting a pet.
but his response was this: "im having second thoughts about that now."
:O
:O
:O
turns out 2 days of feeding the cats, giving them all the attention when they demanded it, having the furball nestled in various parts of his body and also rescuing them three times over when they jumped out of he balcony and onto the ledge below (funnily they managed to go down there but couldnt come up on their own! haha!) has made him realize the effort and responsibility it is to actually have a pet of your own.
so much for his plan! while it worked on me, it seems to have had quite the opposite effect on him. and unexpectedly so.
we're back to square one it seems. its time for me to go plot now, and device a way to reverse his feelings. and this, i promise, is the last you'll hear from me about the kitties.
but not before you take one last look at the cute little thing:
what a whole weekend with kittens can do to you
i started off sitting a mile away and watching them in utter shock and awe. i declared that im not a cat person.
as the weekend went by, i slowly warmed up to tia. mostly because she wanted to be cuddled and preferred to sit in my lap, all the time. so i didnt have a choice.
plus shes just so small you cant help but love the little thing!
thats her sitting on vc's cheque book, if you please. yes, shes that tiny.
they say the ultimate conversion happens when the animal demands your attention, and you give in.
this is tia gently demanding my attention, when i have put her down momentarily, just to check my email.
and this is tia not-so-gently demanding my attention. read: "put that damn thing down and make room for me!"
maya on the other hand never sits still. shes too hyper. and also busy plotting ways to attack me. hiding beneath pretty much anything she can hide beneath, and trying to spring on me when i least expect it. as a result i have never been able to pet her, forget cuddle or love her. stupid cat!
sometimes however, she takes a rest from her devious naughty ways, and chooses to rest. only for a minute. long enough for us to take a picture, before she wakes up again and proceeds to bug tia or me.
vc thinks iv been successfully converted. and i promise this is the last you'll hear from me about the cats.
as the weekend went by, i slowly warmed up to tia. mostly because she wanted to be cuddled and preferred to sit in my lap, all the time. so i didnt have a choice.
plus shes just so small you cant help but love the little thing!
thats her sitting on vc's cheque book, if you please. yes, shes that tiny.
they say the ultimate conversion happens when the animal demands your attention, and you give in.
this is tia gently demanding my attention, when i have put her down momentarily, just to check my email.
and this is tia not-so-gently demanding my attention. read: "put that damn thing down and make room for me!"
maya on the other hand never sits still. shes too hyper. and also busy plotting ways to attack me. hiding beneath pretty much anything she can hide beneath, and trying to spring on me when i least expect it. as a result i have never been able to pet her, forget cuddle or love her. stupid cat!
sometimes however, she takes a rest from her devious naughty ways, and chooses to rest. only for a minute. long enough for us to take a picture, before she wakes up again and proceeds to bug tia or me.
vc thinks iv been successfully converted. and i promise this is the last you'll hear from me about the cats.
Saturday, September 04, 2010
special guests this weekend
this weekend we have some interesting guests staying over. maya and tia didnt have anyone to look after them while their mommy and daddy are away for the weekend, so we took them in.
say hello...
maya:
maya is older than tia is. shes hyper, energetic and has a little too much energy for her own good. shes also a born explorer. in her heart i think she believes shes a mountain climber on an expedition. then sometimes i think she thinks of herself as a tigress on the prowl.
she is often found lurking stealthily behind curtains, legs of chairs and behind boxes, like she is planning an attack. its a bit spooky. shes also the biggest bully iv seen. she cant sit still for more than 13.5 seconds at a time and always needs attention and activity.
sometimes tia is the victim of her energy. maya tries hard to get tia to play with her, join in the fun and romping, and perhaps burn some energy. but tia is least interested.
tia:
tia is calm and collected. shes under 2 months old, but behaves like shes a granny whos seen all there is to see and has the worlds wisdom. she spends most of her day just sitting around in warm places.
mostly ON my router, behind the fridge, ON my laptop and nestled in various nooks and corners.
in her heart, i think tia thinks of herself as a monk. whos given up worldly pleasures (everything, except fish) for a life of deep meditation and understanding. when maya demands her attention, it gets pretty violent. but tia is never one to react. she has this mature solemn expression like shes too grown up for all these cat games, and would much rather jus sit around and watch the world go by.
the everyday life of a cat:
ply around and be hyper
eat
poop
play around and be hyper
sleep
bug each other
be stupid
curl up and sleep
eat
poop
sleep some more
play some more
you get the drift..
say hello...
maya:
maya is older than tia is. shes hyper, energetic and has a little too much energy for her own good. shes also a born explorer. in her heart i think she believes shes a mountain climber on an expedition. then sometimes i think she thinks of herself as a tigress on the prowl.
she is often found lurking stealthily behind curtains, legs of chairs and behind boxes, like she is planning an attack. its a bit spooky. shes also the biggest bully iv seen. she cant sit still for more than 13.5 seconds at a time and always needs attention and activity.
sometimes tia is the victim of her energy. maya tries hard to get tia to play with her, join in the fun and romping, and perhaps burn some energy. but tia is least interested.
tia:
tia is calm and collected. shes under 2 months old, but behaves like shes a granny whos seen all there is to see and has the worlds wisdom. she spends most of her day just sitting around in warm places.
mostly ON my router, behind the fridge, ON my laptop and nestled in various nooks and corners.
in her heart, i think tia thinks of herself as a monk. whos given up worldly pleasures (everything, except fish) for a life of deep meditation and understanding. when maya demands her attention, it gets pretty violent. but tia is never one to react. she has this mature solemn expression like shes too grown up for all these cat games, and would much rather jus sit around and watch the world go by.
the everyday life of a cat:
ply around and be hyper
eat
poop
play around and be hyper
sleep
bug each other
be stupid
curl up and sleep
eat
poop
sleep some more
play some more
you get the drift..
Friday, September 03, 2010
my recent tryst with an mcp
When did showing emotions and being honest about what you feel start making men insecure about their manliness? When did confessing your love for the woman you love and want to be with for the rest of your life amount to having your manliness taken away? Why is commitment to a woman equated with a compromise of a negative kind?
Iv so had it with this MCP attitude.
In my opinion, theres nothing more manly than a man whos comfortable with himself, his feelings and the consequent actions. A man who can be 100% honest about the way he feels, with his women friends and man friends alike, without worrying about his "macho image" is probably more worthy of my respect than a man who is so caught up in maintaining his image that he could be dishonest about sharing the way he really feels with men-folk. If he can lie about it to cover up his emotions and pretend to fit the macho mould, thats not someone I believe is honest. Thats not a true man. Thats a coward. A wuss. An MCP.
Iv so had it with this MCP attitude.
In my opinion, theres nothing more manly than a man whos comfortable with himself, his feelings and the consequent actions. A man who can be 100% honest about the way he feels, with his women friends and man friends alike, without worrying about his "macho image" is probably more worthy of my respect than a man who is so caught up in maintaining his image that he could be dishonest about sharing the way he really feels with men-folk. If he can lie about it to cover up his emotions and pretend to fit the macho mould, thats not someone I believe is honest. Thats not a true man. Thats a coward. A wuss. An MCP.
Thursday, September 02, 2010
family fun
a family-filled fun weekend has jus passed. my parents (in the dark corners of the picture) visited from bangalore, and my sister (marching along next to me) came down from bombay. only VC is missing from this picture, but because he took it, i am including him in it. this picture symbolizes the weekend. it was the five of us together after so long.
it was surreal to have them visit my own home, and a sort of role-reversal happened. it was good to be able to cook meals for my mom, for a change. it was good to hand my dad his drink and soda, and cook chicken kheema, it was good to manage the show and wish that they have a nice relaxed few days under my wing. just for a change.
the weekend was filled with food (of course!), drink (of course!), laughter, exploring, fascination, fun, hysteria and madness, oh and the rain. i do hope we can repeat this soon.
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