five-minute-flashback

it feels like i just traveled back in time, really quickly, and came back. in a short span of 5 minutes. i was transported back to what could have been a typical lunch break scene back in 5th grade. when every girls singlemost important aim in life was to be accepted. accepted by those few who considered themselves "cooler" and above the rest. the few who on the surface seemed nice and friendly, and took you under their wing, only to snub you and cut you out and leave you out when you most needed that acceptance.

back then that was normal. we were all of 10-11 years old. and everyone was caught up in the same race. it was everybodys need.

today i was in the midst of full-grown women. aged 27 and above. and it felt like i was in school, amidst some kids who were all scrambling to be accepted by the rich and mighty lot. and i realised nothing changes. we grow up, we move on, we mature, we get fat, our brains get larger, our values change, our appearances get a makeover, we think we're stronger, we thing we're capable of so much more. but beneath all of that, we're all just tiny babies. who want to be accepted by the crowd. who want to fit in. who want to be respected. and to get that assurance and that acceptance, we do the funniest things. things that sometimes dont fit with our age.

does that race ever end? does this struggle ever get appeased? how long does it take before we accept ourselves, for what we are? and make peace with it. and dont feel the need to do the silly things that we do. all for the sake of a superficial, outward acceptance from people who dont even matter. from people who you forget about the minute you swipe out of the door and end your working day.

human beings are by far the weirdest most twisted bunch of creatures this world will ever come across.