Tuesday, January 20, 2009

im so UN-corporate :)

im halfway through some what could undoubtedly be call the most mindnumbing induction program. 2 days of being cooped up in a training room, being faced with one presentation after another. corporate hoopla, hr gyaan, jargon and all the hullabaloo, just leaves me reeling, and much in need of caffeine.

random thoughts...
1) im so UNcorporate. like a sore thumb. with my UNprim and UNproper "corporate attire". with my why-do-we-need-to-hear-this-bullshit attitude. with my give-me-some-work-to-do-already thoughts.

2) theres got to be a better way to do this than microsoft powerpoint! which, by the way, i think its the mot unengaging and impersonal software to make presentations. it gives some people the creeps. literally. breaking into rashes at the very mention of the term "PPT".

3) i wish i could just stretch my feet out, take my indian chappals off, put my feet up on this rather uncomfortable chair and sit cross-legged. no matter how that goes against everything about corporate etiquette and behaviour.

4) people must definitely think im a snob. its been 2 days and i havent really had a real "conversation' with anyone. i havent spoken to anyone as such. and with the couple of people i have exchanged some verbal banter with, it has never progressed beyond the customary hi-im-so-and-so-from-so-and-so-how-about-you. whats worse, im never the one to initiate conversation or introductions. and everything begins and ends with that intro.

5) speaking of intros..what kind of hr session such as this doesnt have an ice breaker to begin with. i mean we've been in the same room for over a day..each of us stuff as a rake, not knowing what to say/do/expect. just dumbly listening, not engaging, talking, interacting..my brain as i know it is on hibernate mode since monday morning.

6) maybe i should play "mail-mail" with ak, vc and pa. and abuse the newly acquired push-email privilege on my swanky new business phone. "mail-mail" is a juvenile timepass activity we invented, which requires a group of people to exchange nonsense emails over ridiculous topics of discussion, at super fast speeds and crazy rates of response. for no apparent except to distract oneself from work on hand, and entertain people such as me, stuck in boring inductions.

7) maybe i should sit and calculate my actual take home salary, based on the information i have aquired today. information that makes me feel enlightened and knowledgeable, seeing as how hr didnt so much as give me a salary break-up! (someones clearly not doing their job right!)

8) i cannot fucking wait for the weekend. and the promise of downtime and beachtime and sunshine it brings with it. i dream of salad and juice on the beach. of driving through dusty auroville. and of crazy shaped houses. and a big golden globe of light.

9) maybe i should have that maharaja mac today.

which brings me to another point. tomorrow i have something to look forward to. a glimmer of hope (and no, this is not just the post-obama-talk im immitating). a spot of sunshine in yet another boring day i will spend in the confines of that damned training room.

i have a maharaja mac lunch date. and i cannot wait.

gee, im so easily satisfied sometimes.

1 comment:

prateek james said...

you know what, those maharaja burgers have too much lettuce daaaa crap they are!!!