i feel far away

been far away for far too long. far away from everything that i hold dear. everything that makes me who i am. its a sinking sort of feeling.

we chase after the silliest things in the hope of being happy. and sometimes all it takes is a tiny misunderstanding and a few moments to just splatter all over. beyond repair. beyond rebuilding. makes you wonder..why do we do the things we do? why do we have such weird personal definitions of happiness? what does it mean to really be happy? why does so much of it depend on the outside? what others give to us? the perfect job? peace and calm at home? being understood by those who matter? peaceful friendships and meaningful relationships?

what happened to those simple joys in life? cliche as it sounds, whatever happened to them?! its so hard to see meaning in solitude. in a day well spent with myself. looking within. doing things for me for a change. iv become a slave to the outside world. all my pleasure, contentment and happiness seems to come from the outside world and all the stimuli its throwing at me. movies, restaurants, friends outside, hanging out, roaming around aimlessly.

i think iv hit saturation. im so far away from who i used to be.

"hold on to me, never let me go"