full circle

bombay. tons of memories. mixed feelings. twists and turns in life. times spent. memories held. friends made.

iv been here 5 days. i leave today. and for the first time in years, i dont want to go back. coming to bombay is like going back in time for me. it takes me back and brings back a flood of mixed memories from all kinds of times. spending endlessly long summer days and entire holidays here. with or without amma. 2 whole months. we'd come when holidays began and go back just before school started. before niyu was born i would do it all alone, and spend afternoons reading, being told stories, playing with aditya and radhika, playing pretend games all by myself, shopping for books, being pampered by the hordes of ammama and ajjus students and friends, eating all kinds of yummy food, visiting people. and then we came here when niyu was going to be born and when ajju had his by-pass surgery and when ammama turned 60 and ajju turned 70 and 75 and for so many other big events and occasions. and so many other times i cannot even begin to name or recollect.

over the years i remember the time when vacations would come to end, and id be counting days down, telling myself not to be sad that soon id be going back home. somewhere down the line i went through a phase where i didnt really like coming to bombay. the city was hot and smelly and the house was not like it used to be. and whenever we made short trips, i would desperately wait till we returned to bangalore. i would count the days till when we would leave. i think it had a lot to do with growing up and the life i have in bangalore. changes and growth and friends and people and happenings made me miss bangalore when i was in bombay. i havent spent a long 2-month summer here in years now. we've only made short trips in the recent past, most of which i made alone.

niyu lives here now and the house is different. home is like second home now. iv watched ammama and ajju grow old, their love and warmth and foffee only grows younger and fresher by the day. yogi mam and kavitakka have moved out and back in to this home with a family of the most adorable and handful of trouble boys and the house is again bustling with all that used to make it "home" and for the first time in a long long time, i dont want to go back to bangalore.

i can almost sense the pangs of missing bombay and wanting to come back here soon, that i will feel when im back in bangalore later today. its what iv felt so many times before, when i was younger. when moving and shifting around and travelling was easy and i didnt feel bound to anything.

today i feel like iv come a full circle.