i feel the need to dissociate. to pull out and watch from a distance. to recap and make sure im doing the right thing. to make sure im doing the best thing i could be in this time and place. i feel like time is slipping away far too soon for my good. far too many disappointments and realisations over the past few weeks have made the shine fade away. the fun ride is over. and the walk home is unpleasant. and suddenly, unexpectedly i feel lost. like im in the wrong place at the wrong time. like i have made a horrible mistake. like i need to back-track and relook at where this journey has brought me.
i want to cut. stop. and take time out to enjoy the wind in my face. to savour the time rather than be caught up in mundane acts of existence. i want to feel the sunshine. kiss the rain and know that what i did was the right thing to do.
i want to stare into the orange skies and see the pink elephants dance around in a drunken reverie. i want to taste the tangy freshness of a mojito and kick back and bask in the glory of the pleasant comfortable present.
but this is what i feel like: out of control. angry. keyed up. stifled. confused. silent. quietly angry.
3 comments:
Yeah..i know how that feels..Hug! Things will be fine eventually, in the end. If it isnt, it isnt the end. :) Well lets atleast look at it, as though it will be ok...
No negativity creepin it yet sweets..Not jus yet..never actually!!
well we lowes you and we is insomniac
orange skies and pink elephants in drunken reverie... sounds like heaven
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