Friday, November 17, 2006

adding some adipose

my very being has touched and all new level of inertia. let me specify, INTENSE inertia. i have never felt so bulky and lethargic in all my life. i have never been this big, this uncomfortable and this pathetically frustrated with myself. iv never NOT fit into clothes. iv never been told by my family that im looking "healthy". iv never been worried about the weight iv gained. NEVER.

this is not me! i was an exercise fanatic. i needed my daily dose of endorphins to keep me going. i needed to burn some everyday, to feel the energy to face every new day. i needed to sweat it out and feel refreshed and renewed. i bunked everythign else to make it to gym in time. i was obsessive. i was hyper. i was happy.

now im just slow, heavy, lethargic. a BLOB. and i dont know what the hell to do about it.

its a fucking dangerous place to be. it drags you deep into this abyss of adipose..yes ADIPOSE, its all around..and there you are, in this abyss of adipose..sliding down, with nothing to hold on to, and nothing to pull you out. and nothing by adipose, FAT all around you. bleaarrgggghh..

iv tried watching what i eat (but not really), iv tried waking up early to go for a run (didnt happen past 2 mornings of waking up at the BUTT-CRACK of dawn), iv tried psyching myself into exercising, iv tried leaving nasty reminders on my phone to disgust myself and get me to get moving but i cant. I JUST CANT. im afraid iv fallen into a self-made trap. and im only going down from here on.. its fucking scary!!

its not so much the weight, and the look..its the energy lows. its the mental lows. no endorphins = more unhappiness. therefore i need to invent plan B, to get my now very wide and fat and hideous posterior moving. (considering how all my plan A's failed miserably.)

help! any ideas?

all you visitors who never leave comments..DO IT NOW! leave a comment. help a friend. (ahemmm mr chung.)


Chung said...

Ha ha.. Heathy eh!! Well well well. Isnt that a polite way of sayin... ahemmm.. U got funny folks i must say. HOOOhoooo hooo.. Nice!

byker7 said...

if you have a person who cleans for you, pay the person to stay away instead.

(This only works if you have some degree of OCD. And, don't want the person who helps out to lose out.)

byker7 said...

btw, if you liked Omkara, watch Maqbool.

it's an earlier film by Vishal Bharadwaj, based on Macbeth.

(yeah, yeah, i took a dip in the archives.)

haathi said...

chung: maybe thats where i get my "unknown" funny side from. (i still dont know what you mean, btw)

byker7: i live with my parernts, who constantly accuse me of treating my home like a hotel. come in, eat, leave. someone to cook for me, someone to clean up, someone to do the laundry, sigh. its disgusting. i want to watch maqbool..

chung said...

dont worry ma frend.. In due course u will.. Give it time...

Manu said...

chubbycheeks squirrel o clock?