Friday, April 08, 2011

time off to empty my plate

My work-plate is a bit like a mish-mash these days, a khow suey of sorts. The problem is while khow suey is tasty by itself, I cant have too much of it. Not for days on end, meal after meal. At the moment, Im trying desperately to chow down stale khow suey to make room for new fresh tasty food that’s standing by, waiting for me to take a pick. But I cant refill my plate unless I empty it. Finish what’s on it first, like my momma told me to.

But the plate never empties itself. Because when Im making steady progress, someone quickly refills it without really checking with me if I want seconds. Leaving me with no room, no appetite and no reason to take on new things that I want to taste.

I firmly know now that the single biggest problem I face at work is the lack of the ability to say NO. I just don’t have it in me. Between being shy, timid and having a wrong sense of being obligated, I give in to being an absolute push over. And that makes it easy for people to disregard my plate that’s clearly overflowing with stale food.

The saga of crazy busy work days continues. Its not so much that there is a lot to do, there’s just not enough time to do it. Things pile on, deadlines get made, they draw near and some just fly past without my realizing it.

Anyhow, so thats the background. And to clear my very overloaded plate, I decided to take the morning off to work from home. So I can stay away from the banter, the constant chitter chatter, the incessant two0minute interruptions, the uneasy tension thats just a reminder of how much you have yet to complete. Away from it all. Even if just for a few hours. With the goal to finish off a few things that have been travelling through my schedule for days on end.

Working from home is a boon. I wish we could do more of it :)

This whole plate-being-excessively-full and making me feel a tad dissatisfied reminded me of an old zen saying: How can I show you zen, unless you first empty you cup. (Or in this case plate.) Things are clearly far from being "Zen", or optimal. But I guess the only way to make that happen for myself is to empy my plate first.

And today is a first step in that direction.

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