restlessly lazy

new song on repeat. manu chao. por el suelo. heres how it goes. its lovely. sounds like electronic reggae to me.. i love it. calm soothing blue and end-of-the-day calming. makes me wanna sit in a room by a green lamp shade and be lazy and soak in the feeling of aching tired legs and shut my eyes and just breathe. im tired.

Por el suelo hay una compadrita
Que ya nadie se para a mirar
Por el suelo hay una mamacita
Que se muere de no respetar
Patchamama te veo tan triste
Patchamama me pongo a llorar...
Esperando la ltima ola
Cudate no te vayas a mojar
Escuchando la ltima rola
Mamacita te invito a bailar...
Por el suelo camina mi pueblo
Por el suelo hay un agujero
Por el suelo camina la raza
Mamacita te vamos a matar...
Esperando la ltima ola
Patchamama me muero de pena
Escuchando la ltima rola
Mamacita te invito a bailar...
Por el suelo camina mi pueblo
Por el suelo moliendo condena
Por el suelo el infierno quema
Por el suelo la raza va ciega...
Esperando la ltima ola
Patchamama me muero de pena
Escuchando la ltima rola
Mamacita te invito a bailar...

no idea what it means. here's a translation..

By the ground there is a compadrita
That nobody is already stopped to watch
By the ground there is a mamacita
That one dies of not respecting
Patchamama I see you so sad
Patchamama I put myself to cry…
Waiting for ltima wave
Cudate you are not going away to dunk
Listening to ltima rola
Mamacita I invite to you to dance…
By the ground my town walks
By the ground there is a hole
By the ground the race walks
Mamacita we are going to you to kill…
Waiting for ltima wave
Patchamama I die of pain
Listening to ltima rola
Mamacita I invite to you to dance…
By the ground my town walks
By the ground grinding sentence
By the ground hell burns
By the ground the race goes blinds…
Waiting for ltima wave
Patchamama I die of pain
Listening to ltima rola
Mamacita I invite to you to dance…

its a weird feeling. im tired. i had a blast at work and after today. the 4 day weekend lies ahead. i wanted to go out of town. SO FUCKING BAD. and im not. and manu chao is making me bluesy and gloomy. so melancholic. and im enjoying it. because it just feels so right. sitting here in dimmed lights. silence of the night and a whole lot to think about.

i want to kick back. go out alone. feel like myself for a change. feel like being alone. why didnt i just make up my mind and go for it? take that holiday while it beckoned? i hate compromise. i hate it. i hate it when it gets you nothing in the end. unrequited reaching-out. this is the mood to read poetry and feel all intellectually tickled and think oh-im-so-smart. but im just feeling restless. restless to get going in life. and yet something is holding me back. something is making me lazy and lethargic. and i hate it.

im sick of being stagnant. static. i need to move. i want to go out and refresh my senses.

i need a break through. while everything in life seems to be going well, i have this nagging feeling of being thwarted and being curbed and being held back. i need to break free. from what, i dont know.

maybe i need a holiday. the out-of-bangalore sort.