Sunday, June 24, 2007

this thing im feeling

theres a kind of loneliness i feel sometimes. combined with a deep gut wrenching hurt, and concern and pondering about things i dont know anymore. its sort of like beating around in the dark, at i dont know what and trying to find i dont know what, and turning up unsuccessful anyway. its a terrible sort of loneliness. and what makes it worse is that its the kind of loneliness i can share with nobody but myself. even if i tried, i wouldnt be able to share it to ease it.

its inexplicable and seems unresolvable. will i just sit here and wonder? will i just dream and hope blindly? will something good come of it? will the tears wash it away? will time heal the way i feel? should i do what i feel like? knowing that it will most positively only bring more pain? is there really a way out of this? will i ever feel the way i used to? is it time for me to really let go and accept and forget? how long will it be before the unimaginable happens? before the unthinkable surprises me like a slap in the face? shaking me out of this terrible sleep.

im going home.. back to the place where i belong..

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I know what you mean. I feel this too. Very often and you know are right, it is unsharable and you have to just sit in it and IT WILL pass.