storm by the sea

beautiful storm clouds do exist.

i saw them in sri lanka.

die hard 4.0

i watched it yesterday!! at an exclusive preview. considering faithful BP from office only called me at 6 30 to say i could go for the movie, because she finally got me passes, it was pretty much close to impossible getting to pvr in time for the show. or so i thought.. but we made it and it was my very first time at pvr so that was another highlight.

i dont remember much from the previous die hards, but this one lived up to all my expectations of first class american super hero + mindless action + unbelievable twists in the plot + deadly good predictable suspense that keeps u lingering on just till the last minute + with the newest obsession: internet terrorism..oh and of course some near and dear one gets held hostage eventually. HAHA..

its funny how sometimes the more unrealistic it is, the more mindless it is, the more unbelievable and stupendous it is, the more riveting it is. and has you completely engrossed and so glued, that you come out wanting to beat a few people, shoot a gun and fall out of plane..and survive it. so john mclane takes on these terrorists, singlehandedly and manages to overcome the a national crisis. thereby saving the enitre country, in true hollywood style. not without destroying a few thousand cars, people dying all around the place, bridges, tunnels, roads, helicopters getting crumpled and destroyed and strewn all around..and he survives it all. and chooses to live free..

john mclane is a confirmed maniac. you can see it in his eyes. some classic lines that had me giggling..

• the hacker kid mclane is trying to save, asks him: why are you so calm?? have you done this kind of stuff before?
• the kid asks a badly injured and bleeding mclane: you okay? and mclane says: il let you know in a minute.
• hacker kid to mclane after a huge explosion where mclane sends his car crashing into the helicopter: you just killed a helicopter with a car! mclane: yeah i was out of bullets.
• hacker kid to mclane after yet another large explosion: did you see that?!? mclane coolly answers: yeah I saw it, I did it!

if i havent ruined it enough already, go see it.

whats been and gone

when words dont do enough, you need a song to make some sense..

hold up
hold on
dont be scared
you'll never change whats been and gone
may your smile shine on
dont be scared
your destiny may keep you warm

because all of the stars are fading away
just try not to worry you'll see them some day
take what you need and be on your way
and stop crying your heart out

get up
come on
why you scared
you'll never change whats been and gone

under the bridge

beneath..

..the waterfall!

"tears stream down your face,
when you lose something you cant replace."

iv been flying..

oh let the sun beat down upon my face..stars fill my dreams

i had a dream. crazy dream. anything i wanted to know, any place i needed to go..

over the hills where the spirits fly..

warmth

a breath of fresh air.

a forgotten smile.

a distant dream.

a glimmer of hope.

a refreshing change.

a replenished sense of self.

a new found confidence.

a new gratefulness.

a feeling of completion.

a lasting emotion.

a bright new beginning.

a reminder in the middle of the night.

a good morning. every morning.

a peaceful calm.

cut.

a comforting embrace.
honest. stark. gentle.
refreshing. new. blissful.

goodnight

give it time, they said.
and the waiting hurt. and the expectation yanked and tugged. and pulled me in a million different directions.

now, theres no expectation.
theres no giving time anymore.
because iv stopped waiting.

iv turned off the light and shut the door behind me. sweet dreams.

this thing im feeling

theres a kind of loneliness i feel sometimes. combined with a deep gut wrenching hurt, and concern and pondering about things i dont know anymore. its sort of like beating around in the dark, at i dont know what and trying to find i dont know what, and turning up unsuccessful anyway. its a terrible sort of loneliness. and what makes it worse is that its the kind of loneliness i can share with nobody but myself. even if i tried, i wouldnt be able to share it to ease it.

its inexplicable and seems unresolvable. will i just sit here and wonder? will i just dream and hope blindly? will something good come of it? will the tears wash it away? will time heal the way i feel? should i do what i feel like? knowing that it will most positively only bring more pain? is there really a way out of this? will i ever feel the way i used to? is it time for me to really let go and accept and forget? how long will it be before the unimaginable happens? before the unthinkable surprises me like a slap in the face? shaking me out of this terrible sleep.

im going home.. back to the place where i belong..

do you have to??

do you have to let it linger?

flooeuuyyy

i want:
chicken pepper soup
spicy rasam
hot water and honey
nimbu chai
masala chai
wanton soup
hot chocolate
steamed momos
warm toast and butter
hot water in the tub
a big warm never ending hug
throat soother

i have:
antibiotics
strepsils
septilin
rainy weather
aching limbs

and im miserable, all of a sudden.

home

today, i got to drive out in my car, after a long time. around noon. when the traffic is not half bad. and people are lazy and not in a tearing hurry to get places..i think.

the weather was brilliant. the sun was shining lightly, behind the clouds. the sky was grey, but not gloomy. the drizzle seemed like it was fresh. it wasnt pouring..just a cool light drizzle.

and i made my way, slowly through the city all the ay to st marks rd. and then i found myself a parking spot. just outside where i needed to go. parallel parking. but large enough spot for me to manouver my tiny car into. happiness.

and then i walked..felt the drizzle, and the gentleness of the cool breeze against my face.
and i thought to myself..what a lovely city.

sigh.

too much??

i wonder if there is such a thing as too much love.

yesterday..

il be thinking about you..
il be thinking about you..

are you??

"open your eyes, look within. are you satisfied with the life you're living?" --bob marley

what will be.. will be

im not good with change. its not a good thing to be that way but im just not good with it. it takes a long long time for me to chew and swallow and digest and accept and assimilate change. its a bad thing to be this way, but i dont know what i can do for an instant reversal to a more accepting and let-it-be-ish attitude towards things.

i cannot digest how things have changed. i cannot get myself to accept and peacefully make my peace with the fact that this is it, the new scheme of things and theres nothing i can do or fight any longer, to make things otherwise.

what used to be has passed me by. what is, is too confusing and disturbing to fathom. well maybe not disturbing, but not easy.

i dont like what become of certain things in my life. but i think what i dont like is the fact that i have to reorient myself and adjust to a new pattern of things. the change by itself is a good thing, im just having a hard time breaking an old habit. know what i mean? its like never wanting to get rid of an old pair of socks, even though they're torn and fail to do the job of a decent pair of socks. they get so comfortable and take the shape of your feet, and feel all snug and warm, yet you know something is not right when you see them gaping holes.

small steps. one step at a time i guess. sometimes alone. sometimes joyous. sometimes together. sometimes in company. sometimes dejected. but always getting ahead. sigh. il stop. bottom line is, i have a hard time dealing with change. and i think it comes out in very strange and odd ways.

lonely view

with birds i share this lonely view...

people are strange.
happiness lies in momos and laughter. and oh yes, an alergy ridden james too.

rang barse

i love the music in this one. i love the voice. i love the colour. but i do not endorse the product or the service :D

this ones for you my goofy-kookie-dummass-shangoo.

hee

pools of sorrow
waves of joy
are drifting thorough my open mind
possessing and caressing me

lots of feeling. criss crossing thoughts. all happy and bursting at the seams with excitement. like the opening of a door to let the hot sun shine through.

evolution

saw this on the ellen degeneres show yesterday.

sun burnt

i visited sri lanka. i ate. i slept. i laughed. i cried. i stuffed face some more. i slept. i lazed. i drank. i watched. i was amazed. i loved. i missed. i was thrilled. i was happy pink. i was impressed. i was depressed. i shopped. i was disgusted. i was hurt. i missed. i sun bathed. i swam. i gazed. i am burnt. i am fat-ter. i am happy.

i am back. i am refreshed. i am happy.

so long...

im off!
to a land not so far away...
maybe il come back with shells. maybe sand. maybe the sunshine. maybe the sea. maybe new clothes. maybe satiated with sea food. maybe maybe maybe..
maybe all of that and so much more..
i cannot wait.

miss me. leave me lots of comments to come back and look forward to!

T/CIR

im quitting work pretty soon. of the many things im going to miss, "T/CIR" is one of them.
it happens twice a day. once in the morning and once in the evening. and we all trudge up the spiral staircase together or by ourselves for T/CIR.

i used to have coffee. now i just have hot lemon tea. without milk.

T/CIR simply means TEA/COFFEE IS READY.
im going to miss the gazebo. im going to miss the view. im going to miss the laughter. im going to miss T/CIR.