Monday, February 14, 2011

ants in my pants

An old uncle friend I recently met after aeons, asked me how I was doing, how life in Goa was treating me, and if I liked my new job. And while my answers were positive (genuinely!) on all accounts, pat came his retort: Oh but you wont stick around! You've got ants in your pants!

And its been stuck in my head since. While I know that his saying it doesnt make it true, I just cant seem to shake off the feeling of being judged by someone, based on a particular phase in my life. Sure, there was a time when I did have "ants-in-my-pants" so to speak. Mostly in the professional sense, which had repercussions that petered into the rest of my life I guess. I have always observed that when a certain aspect of my life is unsettled, it does affect the rest of my life in more ways that I realise. So maybe it was true for that phase in my life. I know what he is referring to. He's talking about a time in my life, not so long ago, when I was happily jumping in and out of jobs. Moving from unsatisfying to more satisfying opportunities. I couldnt help it! I was unhappy in the world of advertising, and it took me 4-5 jobs (within the span of 12 months) to realise why I was unhappy.

While I was mildly embarrassed to be referred to as the girl with ants-in-her-pants, I was reminded of that time in my life. And I found myself looking back and feeling SO glad that I didnt just settle, or find reasons to keep every one of those jobs. It is because I had ants in my pants, that I discovered my strengths in a particular area of writing, and I found the job that I loved. A job I was dedicated to for well over a year. A job I would happily have continued in for many years to come, if I didnt have to move cities. So, much as I wanted to snap back and say "Oh that phase is over!", I just chose to let him have his moment of judgement, and chuckled to myself.

Who woulld have thought having ants in my pants could ever turn out so well?


jhuihi said...

As you rightly said it having ants in ur pants that has helped you discover urself, Ur abilities, ur talents, ur inner self :) if one does'nt have those ants in one's pants to keep one all fiery then life wud be so dull mundane & meaningless. I guess its very easy to live a secured routine life. whats life without experiments. If one gets stuck on eating rice & dal & nothing else one will never know what all is available & missed out on :) ( i'am a foodie hence the eg :D) not every1 has the guts or the ability to be experimental so its a quality to be admired, embraced & not be embarrassed about :)

hAAthi said...

here's to more experimentation and testing waters then, rani!