monstrous monday

mondays bring out the monster in me. the minute i step into work im angry, enraged, furious. im talking huffing-puffing insanely high levels of anger. and it shows on my face, and the way i am.

monday morning makes me want to scream, yell, kick, punch, pinch, karate chop, head butt, castrate, dismember, squish, hurt, trip everyone in sight.

it makes me want to chuck, pick up and move.

and it makes me wonder..is it just a severe case of monday morning blues? week after week? or is there something seriously wrong here im not seeing? or am i choosing not to see it?

as the days of the week go by, the tension reduces. by thursday im okay again. by friday, absolutely peachy.

people say i should ignore it and get by. and sometimes i agree. im used to switching to zombie-mode. auto-pilot. and im sure i could go through few weeks more before i hit absolute saturation. and yet sometimes i think, why? why should i have to go on this way? and then i think, ok if not this, then what else? and i have no answers. only questions.

questions churning around in my head. like a big cauldron of witch's brew. with thoughts that stink like frogs legs, lizard eggs, and all the stink stuff witches use in their brews. boiling, bubbling, growing increasinlgy hot. and sometimes the heat is unbearable. its like a constant waiting for something to boil over and spill all over the place. almost like i need something to bubble over and scald everything around me. its a useless, hopeless, uneasy sort of waiting.

and still, there are no answers. all i know deep in my gut is, this is not the way to live. this is not who i am.