can it get worse?

im not alone in my work-misery-state-of-mind.
thank god for entertainment of this sort.
stories from a parallel unhappy world.

msn conversation between daddy (name changed to preserve anonymity) and i:

daddy says (10:01 PM):
if a camera were to run through the office....
daddy says (10:01 PM):
1. design department...all playing flight simulator
hAAthi says (10:02 PM):
HAHAHA
daddy says (10:02 PM):
2 production department...sitting with vacant gazes
daddy says (10:02 PM):
3. cs deparment ... one system on orkut, two on gtalk, one doing cv, and one playing games
daddy says (10:02 PM):
4. accounts dept..playing solitaire
daddy says (10:02 PM):
5. boss's cabin: PASSED OUT
daddy says (10:02 PM):
she was actually passed out
daddy says (10:02 PM):
she had her her back and mouth open aaaaaaaa like that eyes closed

i guess a drunk boss CAN be worse than a lack of work, motivation, guidance etc etc etc..

going back in time

an old feeling returns:
http://haathime.blogspot.com/2006/05/solitude.html

monstrous monday

mondays bring out the monster in me. the minute i step into work im angry, enraged, furious. im talking huffing-puffing insanely high levels of anger. and it shows on my face, and the way i am.

monday morning makes me want to scream, yell, kick, punch, pinch, karate chop, head butt, castrate, dismember, squish, hurt, trip everyone in sight.

it makes me want to chuck, pick up and move.

and it makes me wonder..is it just a severe case of monday morning blues? week after week? or is there something seriously wrong here im not seeing? or am i choosing not to see it?

as the days of the week go by, the tension reduces. by thursday im okay again. by friday, absolutely peachy.

people say i should ignore it and get by. and sometimes i agree. im used to switching to zombie-mode. auto-pilot. and im sure i could go through few weeks more before i hit absolute saturation. and yet sometimes i think, why? why should i have to go on this way? and then i think, ok if not this, then what else? and i have no answers. only questions.

questions churning around in my head. like a big cauldron of witch's brew. with thoughts that stink like frogs legs, lizard eggs, and all the stink stuff witches use in their brews. boiling, bubbling, growing increasinlgy hot. and sometimes the heat is unbearable. its like a constant waiting for something to boil over and spill all over the place. almost like i need something to bubble over and scald everything around me. its a useless, hopeless, uneasy sort of waiting.

and still, there are no answers. all i know deep in my gut is, this is not the way to live. this is not who i am.

come on in

a warning sign, i missed the good part then i realised, i started looking and the bubble burst.
i started looking for excuses.

come on in, iv got to tell you what a state im in,
iv got to tell you in my loudest tones, that i started looking for a warning sign.

when the truth is, i miss you.

a warning sign, you came back to haunt me and i realized,
that you were an island and i passed you by,
you were an island to discover.

when the truth is, i miss you.

and im tired, i should not have let you go.

so i crawl back into your open arms.

thought:

being in a "relationship" is so overrated.

LUDICROUS AMOUNTS OF LOWE

take off/getaway/holiday

click. enlarge.

i wanna go.

away.

pic: courtesy adsoftheworld.com